The Miami Heat's 107-96 loss to the Indiana Pacers Sunday was about as enjoyable to consume as a poop-filled Chipotle burrito, but then again, people frickin' love Chipotle no matter what, so maybe that's a bad analogy. Seriously, though, this game was shitty. It was a wire-to-wire collective sitting-in-a-circle-holding-hands crapping of the pants for the Miami Heat. The Pacers got out to a quick 7-0 lead and never looked back, but if they did look back, all they would have seen was the Heat in its "circle of poop," so it's probably better they never did.
After the game, however, there was a reason for Heat fans to smile. Actor Mike Epps from, you know, that Mike Epps movie, sent out a hilariously bogus tweet from "the game."
Fail @therealmikeepps pic.twitter.com/EUVylc04If
— IG:FancyTho (@OhyuFancyHuhFB) May 19, 2014
Only problem was the Heat wore red yesterday, and this pic was obviously from a game that happened weeks ago. Welp! Twitter called him on his shit right away and had a little fun at his expense. He's since deleted the tweet, because that totally makes it go away.
Sadly, Heat fans can't make memories of game one disappear so easily. Six Pacers scored in double figures, led by Paul George's 24. Roy Hibbert scored 19 points and pulled down nine rebounds against the Heat, because of course he did. At this point Hibbert's good play against the Heat can only be summed up as "Hibbert's Law," defined as "any Hibbert shot that can go in will go in." It's an unexplainable phenomenon we all must accept, and it's truly at the point where I'm just chalking it up to being punished for something I did when I was younger.
If you're looking for positives to take away from the game on the Heat side, good luck with that. I hope you enjoy your journey on horseback through the mountainous obstacles of shit that stand in your way. If you find that kernel of corn in the football field of dinosaur shit, please, share it with the rest of us, so we can call Channel 10 right away.
So that was not fun, but the Heat get a chance to make it all right this Tuesday, still with a chance to leave Indiana with home-court advantage tilted back in their favor. It's not the best-case scenario, but after a loss like that, you have to point it out, because it's basically the only thing to put your hat on. I don't know why you would put your hat on it, but what you do with your hat is up to you -- it's your hat.
Damn, the crowd sure changed clothes quick RT @TheRealMikeEpps: We here pic.twitter.com/ptWeog0m56
— Wael (@W_2real_K) May 18, 2014
Heh. RT @SweepTheLeg337: Except the Heat wore red today. What a loser. RT "@TheRealMikeEpps: We here pic.twitter.com/Ap1gbbIiMh"
— Chris Joseph (@byChrisJoseph) May 18, 2014
We here. @TheRealMikeEpps @Rizzmigizz @byChrisJoseph pic.twitter.com/KfZuvT4F3a
— Trill Clinton (@iMadeSmartCool) May 18, 2014
@iMadeSmartCool @Rizzmigizz @TheRealMikeEpps @byChrisJoseph WE HERE! pic.twitter.com/c713IelWhB
— Daniel Isusi (@_BigDworldwide_) May 18, 2014
@iMadeSmartCool @Rizzmigizz @TheRealMikeEpps @byChrisJoseph WE HERE! pic.twitter.com/HljHVD42Jq
— Daniel Isusi (@_BigDworldwide_) May 18, 2014
LOLOLOLOLOL! @TheRealMikeEpps @Rizzmigizz @byChrisJoseph RT @KalenaShari: We here. pic.twitter.com/hzUHB90GMX
— Trill Clinton (@iMadeSmartCool) May 18, 2014
WE HERE! @TheRealMikeEpps @Rizzmigizz @byChrisJoseph pic.twitter.com/36dfpKffKK
— Trill Clinton (@iMadeSmartCool) May 18, 2014
WE HERE! @TheRealMikeEpps @byChrisJoseph @Rizzmigizz pic.twitter.com/OLS3YkmMtJ
— Trill Clinton (@iMadeSmartCool) May 18, 2014
WE HERE @TheRealMikeEpps !!!! pic.twitter.com/TePDIF3e6u
— Rizz (@Rizzmigizz) May 18, 2014
RT @TheRealMikeEpps: We here pic.twitter.com/Y67zccobr5
— Chris Joseph (@byChrisJoseph) May 18, 2014
After being caught in an obvious lie by just about everyone with internet access, Epps posted an explanation, just kidding you guys, I meant yesterday I was at the Pacers game! NOPE! Not only did the Pacers not play yesterday, but they definitely didn't play the Miami Heat. That flight to Australia is pretty long though, so maybe Epps was so jet lagged he mixed up his months or something.
I was at the pacer game last nite but now iam in Australia pic.twitter.com/4mqu6QUfFG
— Mike Epps (@TheRealMikeEpps) May 18, 2014
You sure know how to make a fella feel better Twitter, well done
— Chris Joseph (@byChrisJoseph) May 18, 2014
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