Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

Every year, Miami New Times names the 12 most awful people in our community -- one per month -- so you can feel better about your rude neighbors.

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

For years, Friends of Miami Marine Stadium marshaled support to save the waterfront structure. Then the truth emerged: One leader was compromised by sketchy deals. Another had filed for bankruptcy. And many others concocted under-the-table deals. The result: torpedoed plans and a furious kiss-off letter from onetime backer Gloria Estefan.

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

Kevin Olsen proved it doesn't matter how awesome you are at quarterbacking if you get caught drunk driving with five fake IDs. University of Miami's golden boy is now off the team.

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

Time and again, the Army Corps of Engineers promised it could deepen Government Cut without hurting the environment. Oops. State inspectors admitted this summer the $220 million project was killing coral and having a "profound" impact on Biscayne Bay.

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

Radio jock DJ Laz was behind the wheel of a vodka-branded boat when it got caught on a sandbar off Key Biscayne. As crowds gathered to help, he unwisely gunned the engines. A 23-year-old man was brutally killed by the boat's propellers.

 

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

Lisa Hochstein was famous for starring on The Real Housewives of Miami. Her husband Leonard was touted as a plastic-surgeon "Boob God." Now they're both known as the jerks who ripped down their historic Star Island house over preservationists' objections.

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

Stitches rose to viral fame as the craziest rapper around thanks to face tats and coke-filled videos. But critics say he's a kid from the burbs with inflated street cred.

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

The world didn't exactly need another reason to hate Justin Bieber. He gave us one anyway by drunkenly drag-racing his Lambo in South Beach.

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi is so obsessed with the letter of the law that she's fighting tooth-and-nail against gay marriage. But she's not too goodie-two-shoes to avoid wining and dining with lobbyists and then later dropping state lawsuits to help them.

 

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

As voters decided whether to back a weird bayfront tower called Skyrise, developer Jeff Berkowitz paid for radio ads starring Miami Mayor Tomás Regalado promising the deal wouldn't use taxpayer cash. Then Berkowitz persuaded Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez to give him $9 million from the tax rolls.

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

For four glorious years, LeBron James made us believe he loved the Magic City -- bike riding on Biscayne Boulevard, bringing titles to the Miami Heat, hanging in Coconut Grove. Then, when we least expected it, he stiffed us. For Cleveland. Cleveland!

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

There aren't many crimes Florida politicos can't get away with, but North Miami Mayor Lucie Tondreau proved that an $8 million mortgage fraud scheme is one felony too big. She was suspended from office and later found guilty in federal court.

Miami's Dirty Dozen of 2014
Illustration by Derf

Gov. Rick Scott is one of the least popular leaders in recent history. He looks like Skeletor. He's creepy on camera. A ham sandwich could beat him. But not Charlie Crist. The orange-hued ex-Republican flopped on Election Day and stuck us all with four more years of Scott.

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