Miami is a city of vanity -- we accept that as fact, even if it's a poor quality. But Bravo's new series, Miami Social, takes that attribute and runs with it. In a three-minute preview posted on its website, the cast provides enough cringe-worthy moments that it left Riptide feeling ashamed to call the Magic City home.
In it, we are told Sorah and George were once married but are now friends -- yeah, sure. Sorah says they broke up because George cheated on her, so we are guessing the only reason they are friends is because the checks from Bravo gave them reason.
Next up is gossip columnist Michael, who is gay, and Miami Beach fashion overlord Ariel, who isn't gay but isn't straight (if you know what we mean). They've been reduced to the roles of bitchy queens because, ZOMG, they can't stand each other. If we had to pick a side, we'd pick Michael because Ariel's mini-intro already left a bad taste in our mouths. He admits basically to being a spoiled brat, saying he's always had anything he's ever wanted growing up and, in what we hope merits more footage, he is at some event (looks to be at Ice Palace) yelling for someone to get "that fat girl" away from his table. We know: where has this guy been all our lives?
And then there is big-titty Maria (Ariel's description, not ours). She admits to swinging both ways (what's in the water?) and says every decision she makes is based upon what's good for her daughter -- yes, what a twist, she's a single mom. But Riptide thinks Maria already made a bad decision by jumping on this sinking ship of a reality show.
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SHOW ME HOW
Hardy and Katrina are cast as the boring people, which will hopefully get them out of this mess unscathed.
Miami Social begins to terrorize our TV screens July 14. Full preview after the jump.