Miami Ranked One of the Worst Cities to Survive a Zombie Attack

The Walking Dead or South Beach at 6 a.m.?
The Walking Dead or South Beach at 6 a.m.?
Courtesy of AMC

Zombies don't exist. The closest thing we've seen in real life is that guy on bath salts who ate a guy's face. Which, of course, happened here in Miami. Yet, that man survived.

Somehow, though, Miami has ranked in the bottom ten cities in which it would be best to survive a zombie attack.

The rankings come from Tulia.com, and Miami came in seventh. Honolulu by the way was number one, and New York was number two.

We're not really sure if we believe the results.

Here's how Trulia came to the conclusions:

Highest Walk Score® -- Easy for the "walkers" to get around.

Yes, Miami does have a surprisingly high "walk" score, but people don't actually walk much here with the exception of a few areas like South Beach. Usually because it's so hot out. Are zombies immune from the heat? Wouldn't that just rot them out faster until they dehydrate? I don't know how zombies work, really.

Plus, everyone has cars here and knows how to drive them for maximum destruction.

Lowest density of hardware stores -- Making it difficult for humans to protect themselves from attack.

OK, but what about gun stores?

Plus, there are so many construction sites around town that in the event of a zombie invasion we'd probably just raid those for weapons.

Highest density of hospitals -- Zombies would have quick access to defenseless "food."

Fair enough, but wouldn't that just distract the zombies so those of us who are healthy can run away?

Most congestion -- Making it difficult for humans to run from zombies

OK, yes, I could see how being stuck on the Palmetto while zombies roam about would be a problem. Good point.

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