Miami Police Benevolent Association BBQ Sucks, According to Some Guy Who Still Uses a Typewriter
Hell hath no fury like the typo-ridden scorn of a retired Miami policeman denied his franks and beans. At least, that's the impression we got this morning when we looked in our mailbox and found a doozy of a letter to the editor.
Apparently, the Miami Police Benevolent Association's yearly barbecue is not what it used to be.
"WE ARRIVE AT ONE THIRTY AND THE FOOD IS GONE," the letter complains in sentences so crankily type-written that you can practically smell the old man ink. "KEEP OUT THE FREE LOADERS. THIS IS NOT THE MIAMI RESCUE MISSION."
Click through to see the letter in its glorious rage.
How do we know that this letter isn't a forgery by some rabble-rousing whippersnapper trying besmirch the name of the Miami Police Benevolent Association?
Well, our team of New Times scientists tells us that only octogenarians go to Denny's. Plus, four hours travel works out to be a road trip from Orlando at 55 miles an hour.
Sounds about right.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Facebook Killer Derek Medina Found Guilty
- St. Louis Rams Player Stedman Bailey Expected to Survive After Drive-By Shooting in...
- With Beckham's Little Havana Stadium Just About Dead, Overtown Could Be Next