Miami Loses Home Court, Game One to Bulls 93-86

Welcome to the 2013 NBA Playoffs, Miami Heat. Oh by the way, you just lost home court advantage. The Chicago Bulls came into Miami last night and shocked the Heat 93-86, taking Game 1 and at the same time putting the Heat on notice that this series will be anything but a cake walk. Once again Nate Robinson came up big late for Chicago scoring 27 points and hitting big shot after big shot down the stretch. Jimmy Butler poured in 21 points while pulling down 14 rebounds and played all 48 minutes for the third straight game.

Miami's Big Three were the loudest fart sound. While LeBron finished with 24 he had just two at the half. Wade had 14, and was seemingly invisible all night. Bosh was the worst of the three, going 3-10 for 9 points in 28 of the softest minutes you will ever see from a nearly seven foot man.

After the Heat got Boozer and Noah in foul trouble early Bosh proceeded to refuse to drive to the basket the rest of the game, and when he did it was a flailing armed turnover with very little force behind it. There really is nothing more to say when the Big Three play like this.

All game long the Heat pushed the lead from three to five only to see the Bulls come right back and tie or take the lead by a couple. All game long the Heat had open threes and all game long they missed them, finishing 7-24 (29 percent). The team shot 39 percent overall and made just 17-25 free throws. If you aren't a numbers guy, here is what all those numbers mean: The Miami Heat sucked epic ass Monday. They did bad NBA.

LeBron himself got it going in the second half, scoring 22 of his 24 points, two of which were on this crazy play.

Chicago continues to show amazing heart. To say they are playing short handed would be a huge understatement. Right now the Bulls are your average looking friend that continues to get laid by the hottest chicks and you have zero idea how he does it, all you know is hot chicks walk out of his room every morning. You have to hand it to them, they work for every single point. A lot of Heat fans felt the need to speculate if the Heat would sweep the entire Playoffs, so yeah, I guess you can stop that mess.

There was one positive for the Heat on the night, as LeBron received his fourth MVP award, from there on though it was a bag of dicks.

Miami must now win in Chicago if they are to advance, and you can take the "IF NECESSARY" tag off Game 5, that is unless the Bulls sweep in which case I would proceed to check myself into rehab in advance of my many soon-to-be emotion-numbing addictions.

Game Two is in Miami on Wednesday. The Heat better come out like it is what it is, the most important game of their season, or they very well could be looking at a 2-0 deficit heading to Chicago for two games. The Bulls aren't going to give it to them, that's for sure, so they need to take it.

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