You can't accuse University of Miami student newspaper The Miami Hurricane of not knowing their audience well: college students looking to get drunk for cheap. Today's edition of the bi-weekly paper carries a front page story on the dangers of Four Loko. For those of you who don't know Four Loko might as well be called "Instadrunk in a can."
With a whopping 12 percent alchohol-by-volume rate, the cough syrup-tasting drink that combines booze with caffeine, taurine and other energy supplements, sells for under $3 for a 23.5 oz can. That much alcohol is about half that of an entire six pack of beer, and might cost you upwards of $30 in Miami's pricey bars.
Yet, Loko's caffeine content makes it even more intense. Ok, Four Loko is the reason I can't remember if I should be embarrassed by anything I did during this month's Crystal Castles concert. Four Loko is the reason someone drinking it made me get down on the ground to re-enact Florence and the Machine's VMA performance last weekend. Four Loko makes Sparks seem like Hi-C.
It apparently packs 660 calories per can, but might as well have 666, because it's basically the Devil.
"My friend drank two cans and I drank one and a half," one student tells The Hurricane. "That half was the difference between life and death."
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Life and death! Do you hear that, folks? This shit is serious.
The Hurricane seems rightfully concerned that it's mix of a cheap price, sweet flavors, faddish status and outrageous alcohol wallop could spell disaster for college students, especially those of the under-aged and inexperienced variety.
In 2008, Miller Brewing Company was forced to take the caffeine content out of its popular Spark drink, the innovator of the energy drink-alcohol combo, because amidst protest from watchdog groups. Though Four Loko is a far more serious animal with larger can sizes and twice the alcohol-by-volume of a can of Sparks.