Miami Heat's Ineptitude in the Clutch, as Set to Soulja Boy
The good news is, since their infamous crying episode over the weekend, we finally have found a nickname for the revamped Miami Heat.
The bad news is we're beginning to wonder whether these John Boehner Boys will ever win a game again.
The problem, as evidenced in last night's nine-point loss to the Portland Trailblazers, is that the Heat turn into beached jellyfish at the end of games. And as some sarcastic bastard on YouTube aptly depicts in the video embedded below, the Big Three can't hit a clutch shot to save their Maybachs.
From the colleague, a rabid Heat-hater living in Seattle, who sent it to us: "The stupidest thing -- and that's saying a lot -- these clowns did was have that smoke machine party before any of them played a single minute of even scrimmage ball."
We do kind of cringe at the footage of the celebration at the beginning of this video. But like all premature smoke machine parties, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
- Trio Who Stole 150 Pigeons From Kendale Lakes Farm Sought By Police
Tue., May 26, 6:35 p.m.
Wed., May 27, 6:35 p.m.
Thu., May 28, 6:35 p.m.
Fri., May 29, 1 p.m.
- All Aboard Florida Trips Between Miami and Orlando Will Cost About $143
- Teen Girl Asks Cop If She Can Keep a Little Bit of the Pot He Found on Her