Miami Dolphins Win: Champagne Breakfast for Everyone!
You might recall the Dolphins lately have been getting their asses dented on a week-to-week basis. This has directly led to an 0-3 start, a last-place standing in the AFC East, and Chad Pennington's shoulder crumbling into powder before our eyes. Coming in to this week against the Buffalo Bills, all seemed lost. With Chad Henne getting his first career start, and Joey Porter out of the lineup with a hamstring injury, the stars and cosmos were once again aligned for the Dolphins to get bent over the couch and taken to task. Yet in the end, that wasn't the case. Not only did the Fins get their first win of the season, but also they completely obliterated the Bills by 28 points and showed amazing performances from Henne, Vontae Davis, Jason Taylor, Will Allen, and even the guy who sells churros outside the stadium. A complete collective effort culminating in a 38-10 victory. Suck on that, stars and cosmos!
Henne's first NFL start was a solid one. The Robot completed 14 of 22 passes for 115 yards and one touchdown and, most important, didn't turn the ball over. Henne led the Fins to scoring drives of 65, 66, and 65 yards, thanks to a stellar running game and some surprisingly good hands displayed by the usually craptastic receiving corps. Yes, Henne did take six sacks, which shows he has to read the field better and get acclimated to NFL speed. But overall, he was solid. Henne was poised, effective, and delivered quick, crisp passes. It's obvious the offense will get more vertical with him at the helm.
As for the rest of the team, well, there was plenty more awesomeness. Jason Taylor returned to his quarterback-vanquishing ways with two sacks. Ronnie Brown had another day at the
office, piloting the Wildcat and obliterating linebackers on his way to
a 115-yard, two-touchdown performance. Rookie cornerback Vontae Davis not only ordered the defense's first interception of the
season, but also went with extra cheese by returning it for a touchdown.
And then there's Cameron Wake. The former Canadian Football League
Defensive Player of the Year made the most of his playing time when he stepped in for the injured Porter. Wake's performance could probably be
best summed up by exclaiming, "Sacre bleu!" which is French-Canadian
for, "Shit, yeah!" He sacked Bills QB Trent Edwards three times, forced a
fumble, recorded six tackles, and saved a drowning kitten. Not since
William Shatner and Pamela Anderson's breasts have we seen such an
awesome Canadian import. Wake looks like the real deal.
Overall, a great win. The schedule only gets tougher from here. But for
now, it's cigars and lap dances on the house! The Dolphins are off the
schneid! Sacre bleu!
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.
- Trio Who Stole 150 Pigeons From Kendale Lakes Farm Sought By Police
Tue., May 26, 6:35 p.m.
Wed., May 27, 6:35 p.m.
Thu., May 28, 6:35 p.m.
Fri., May 29, 1 p.m.
- All Aboard Florida Trips Between Miami and Orlando Will Cost About $143
- Teen Girl Asks Cop If She Can Keep a Little Bit of the Pot He Found on Her