Miami Beach Is the Seventh Least Manly City in America, According to Gross Snack Food
Sometimes we hate American culture. We hate the gross vending-machine-ready bits of salt and fat we call snack food, and we hate our rigid gender stereotypes. So of course we hate the fact that Combos -- yes, those strange paste-filled pretzel things -- have named Miami Beach the nation's seventh least manly city.
I guess Combos have figured out that men hellbent on upholding their machismo are the only people stupid enough to eat the company's weird products, and for a while have been putting together a list of "America's Manliest Cities" as a PR stunt. This year Miami Beach came 44th out of 50.
"The study compiles manly metrics of each city like the number of home improvement stores, steak houses, manly occupations and motorcycles per capita," the press release says. "But just like a high concentration of construction workers can boost a city's manly measure, an excess of cupcake shops and fancy furniture stores can hurt a city's rank."
Oh, dear macho God, the sheer horror of eating a cupcake on a designer lounge chair! That's clearly the most feminine thing imaginable.
Miami Heat vs. Brooklyn Nets
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 7:30pm
Florida Panthers v Ottawa Senators
TicketsTue., Jan. 31, 7:30pm
Florida Panthers v Anaheim Ducks
TicketsFri., Feb. 3, 7:30pm
Florida Atlantic University Owls Men's Basketball vs. University of North Texas Mean Green Mens Basketball
TicketsThu., Feb. 9, 7:00pm
Combos also took into account the personal ratings of their "Board of Manliness," which includes washups such as wrestler Sargent Slaughter, Lou "the Incredible Hulk" Ferrigno, and, for some reason, lesbian comedian Judy Gold.
If you're wondering, Nashville, Tennessee, took home the title of most manly, while Los Angeles was awarded the bottom spot.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Miami, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.