How best to celebrate the opening of a taxpayer-manhandling new ballpark that looks like the grotesque lovechild of the '70s spaceship from Close Encounters of the Third Kind and a cheap toaster oven? How about a new logo that's the hideous mutant spawn of the Mets' emblem and that time your kindergartner ate crayons and then vomited colors all over the floor?
The Interwebs, indeed, are alive with buzz this morning that this black clusterf*ck of colors and shapes is your new Miami Marlins logo. The Fish haven't exactly denied it, either. PUKE.
Reaction has so far wavered between the pure, boiling rage of a good Logan Morrison Twitter war and the mild nausea common to anyone who's watched the Marlins bullpen this year.
"Good lord this is hideous," says Marlins fan MPR7 over at the Palm Beach Post.
"Isn't that the M from the Megamind posters?" wonders TNT Daddy at Fishstripes.
"Get ready for empty seats dressed up as fans," writes BeeBee ReeBozo at the Sun Sentinel.
Darren Rovell at CNBC has been running a Twitter poll this morning on the logo and 50.4 percent are voting "horrendous." Another 38 percent chimed in with merely "bad."
Yes, it's entirely possible this is some half-assed idea cooked up by a basement-bound, trouble-starting Mets fan. But reached by the Sun-Sentinel late last night, team president Dave Samson only offered a "no comment," adding the Miami Marlins new logo will be unveiled November 11.
Best we can hope is that this was a dry run for this idea, which Jeff Loria probably personally cooked up while loaded on vintage French champagne in his Hamptons estate. LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE, LORIA.
How else can the Fish embarrass us today? How about misspelling Logan Morrison's name on the Jumbotron last night?
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