MORE

Marco Rubio Wouldn't Let Victoria Jackson Play Her Ukulele, So She Almost Quit Political Activism

We cannot fathom a world where former SNL star and proud Miami native Victoria Jackson didn't go on her weird rants about her strange political beliefs. I mean, we don't agree with anything she squeaks, but we will fight to the death for her right to squeak it (and, of course, our right to laugh at it). In her latest column for WorldNetDaily, Jackson remembers the time she almost quit her political activism, and it was all because she wasn't asked to play her ukulele song about President Obama being a communist at a Marco Rubio rally.


The column is a very strange love letter to journalistically troublesome, former Matt Drudge crony Andrew Breitbart. See, Jackson thinks Breitbart is a really important and supersmart guy, and the whole column is actually kind of sad once you realize she draws her entire self-worth from being validated by her various connections to important right-wing figures.

I guess, for whatever reason, the Rubio campaign didn't feel like validating Jackson:

I moved to Miami and took my mom to a Marco Rubio rally right before his Senate election. It was mostly in Spanish. I hadn't been asked to sing my "Commie" uke song (that I'd sung at rallies across the nation), and this was my hometown! Discouraged with political activism and ready to quit, I showed my mom Psalm 26, which the day before had encouraged me to stay the course. Right before I started to read it aloud, my cell rang and it was Breitbart. He knows my number?! My mom looked at me impatiently. I mouthed, "He's big."

Andrew began, "You're vindicated!" I said, "What?!" I thought fast. Did I do something wrong? Break a law? Kill someone? Andrew continued, "You're vindicated, Victoria! There's a new book out called 'Radical in Chief' by Stanley Kurtz. It's not a talk-show book. It's a real book. It details all of Obama's radical communistic past! You're vindicated!" As he continued talking excitedly about his new Pigford Scandal unraveling, I thought about what a kind person this was, to remember our conversation a year ago. When we hung up, I tried to explain to my mom who this famous person was. Then I picked up the Bible to read her the verse I had started 20 minutes before, Psalm 26:1, "Vindicate me, Oh Lord. ..." My mouth dropped open! Vindicate?!

Is this what all of your ongoing political weirdness is about, Victoria? Making friends and feeling important? We will be your friend. We'll let you play ukulele for us (nonpolitical songs only, though). We will try to validate you and call you on your cell phone in front of your mother to tell you how awesome you are. Just keep giving us this cheap blog fodder, and we'll give you whatever you want.


[via Wonkette ]


Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.


Sponsor Content