I believe I have experienced my first true ‘Love/Hate’ relationship. I met this guy almost 5 years ago and in the beginning it was all good. He was nice and thoughtful, and we spent a lot of time together. I would go over to his house and stay until late most of the time, but I held out on giving him the goodies for about 3 months. When we finally started having sex, it was awesome! Well, after the first time anyway. He said he was anxious, so I let him have another try and he delivered. Sex was always great between us. But then, other things about him started to change. I didn’t really care for the person he became when he started to drink and he drinks a lot (don’t get me wrong, I have my habits too). After a couple of cocktails he would turn into this aggressive, violent, angry monster and I was actually afraid of him. As a result, I began to distance myself but never for too long because the sex just kept calling me back. It got to the point where, I swear, right after sex I would just want him to be gone. When he drank he wasn’t the same fun person I enjoyed hanging out with any more. I felt that I loved him during sex but hated him if we weren’t in the act. Should I leave him? How do I get out of this?
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I’m so sorry that you had to go through that – I mean, an awful first time, not the violent thing - it sucks to wait and wait and wait and be disappointed. But thank your lucky stars that he made it up to you; some girls are still waiting to enjoy that mind-blowing fuck with their mates. Now, onto more serious issues – your drunkard. First a disclaimer: Kitty loves the liq, period. Teetolars are great, but dammit Kitty likes a man that she can take one (or ten) back with – just a personal preference. Happy, sexy drunk: good. Angry, punchy, foaming-at-the-mouth drunk: baddd. So in your case Toomeni, even if you remove the drank from your sexual equation, It’s just not acceptable for this guy to get all aggressive towards you. And since it seems like liquor is often in you guys’ mix, you’re right to want out of the relationship. I understand that you’re loving his man-meat and how he throws it, but trust me, there’s plenty more cocks in the coop.
You say that you love him while you two are doing the grownup, but hate him at all other times? Yeah, that’s just lust. Straight up, Toomeni – he’s scratching your itch, and that aint love, bunny. The more time you spend with this guy, the better the chances are that you’ll become the object of his anger and it’s not worth taking a chance with your safety. And since he has the drinking excuse to fall back on, this could easily become a pattern that he’ll repeat while continuously trying to duck the blame. “Captain Morgan made me do it,” isn’t cute when you’re laid up in the ER with a black eye. So drop him with no qualms, drop him and be happy with the memories you made in his bed (and kitchen, and living room, and wherever else). Yeah, he may stop drinking, but he also may not. Has he expressed a desire to change? Ask yourself that, and if the answer is no, here’s what you do: entice him with a bottle of Grey Goose by the back door while you sneak out of the front, and don’t look back.
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