The Marlins have traded first baseman Logan Morrison to the Seattle Mariners. At this point, most Miamians react to anything the Marlins do with a collective shrug, but this --THIS!-- is different. We're losing not only a first baseman but also a local Twitter superstar.
In fact, Morrison's tweet addiction once landed him on the cover of this very publication. So it seems fitting to send him off with a collection of his best tweets. Goodbye, @LoMoMarlins. Have fun as @LoMoMariners.
On the Washington Nationals' underaged superstar Bryce Harper:
Buy beer... RT @MLB BRYCE HARPER JUST STOLE HOME. What can't this kid do?
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) May 7, 2012
On Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen's own tweet game:
I really hope Ozzies on-field instructions r easier 2 understand than his tweets. I literally have no idea what this dude is talking about.
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) January 4, 2012
Whenever I Google a girl I know, I always put the word "naked" after their name. Just in case...
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) October 21, 2011
On bathroom graffiti:
Everytime I take a S-H-I-T in a public bathroom it make me wonder, do this many people really have Sharpies on them at all times?!?
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) February 10, 2012
Coining the name for his fan base, #LoMoSexuals:
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) December 11, 2013
On fantasy baseball:
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) March 23, 2012
On Justin Bieber:
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) March 25, 2012
On marine science:
Do dolphins fart out of their blowhole?
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) December 12, 2011
On reaching out to fans with medical conditions:
I know this must be "hard". Stay strong! RT @RyanFishy: LoMo I have erectile dysfunction & it would make me excited if I got a RT from u
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) November 18, 2012
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SHOW ME HOW
Not technically his tweet, but still one of the best things LoMo ever said:
— clarkspencer (@clarkspencer) July 22, 2013