The Fish, meanwhile, have lost four in a row due to a comedy of errors. They are 31 games back in the division with only 12 to play, and, well, generally suck.
Can we get in on that grievance, Logan?
To be fair, the Marlins are not the worst team in baseball, but they are damn close: 22nd in run production, 20th in batting average, and 21st in slugging percentage. They have some promising pitchers, but let's be honest: chicks -- and fans in general -- dig the long ball.
So why the hell did the team demote Morrison on August 13 when he was sporting 17 homers (2nd on team) and 60 RBI (3rd on team)? A .240 batting average didn't help, but ESPN reveals that the real reason is Morrison -- on the advice of a union rep -- skipped a team meet-and-greet with season ticket holders.
You could argue that team owner Jeffrey Loria was just looking out for the fans by dropping the disrespectful Morrison, but isn't demoting LoMo like cutting off your nose to spite your face?
Either way, it's not like the whole flap has affected the Marlins' turd sandwich of a season. The sucked before. They've sucked since. Fans are inured to the whole sideshow, as evidenced by the worst attendance in the big leagues.
And why not? Reading Marlins news is like ordering a dick punch for breakfast every morning. Consider:
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- We've lost four straight and are now four games behind the Mets. The Mets!
- Utility player Mike Cameron was recently released for arguing with a male flight attendant on a team flight
- Our inspirational 81-year-old manager is actually a grump who belittles his own players.
Good thing we got that shiny new stadium to distract us next year!