Alright, after John McCain's heroic and very, very successful detour into saving the economy the debate (which McCain has apparently already won!) is back on and Riptide will be live blogging it. A little change from last time: new updates will be at the bottom. Our blogging software still isn't all that awesome for live blogging, but things went relatively smooth last time. Be sure to press the reload button on your browser a million times a minute. The live blog begins after the jump.
8:52 - We are less than 10 minutes away from what will be the most important debate of all time, ever until the next one. Perhaps now is a good a time as any to note/brag that four years ago I was watching the first Bush/Kerry debate from inside the very building (....in practically the nose bleed section). Will that experience make me a better live blogger than any one else on the internet? STAY TUNED UNTIL THE END TO FIND OUT!
8:57 - Originally this was supposed to focus mainly on foreign policy (a strong point for McCain), but now it will include some questions about the economy (a strong point for Obama). It will also involve speaking lots of word and making well thought out, clear points (a strong point for Obama).
9:00 - It's starting. Moderator Jim Lehrer is explaining the rules, that will just be broken anyway.
9:02 - Why do these debate sets always look like they're repurposed from a very patriotic 1963 game show?
9:03 - And of course the first question is about the economy.
9:05 - Obama is going for a very populist message on the economy, and then blames Bush (and his Siamese twin McCain) for the problems we're in.
9:07 - McCain is trying to be populist too, on the surface. Populism is popular! Yay Main Street.
9:10 - Both McCain and Obama said they saw the financial trainwreck coming; two high profile people in the respective parties, even a year ago, and yet no one did anything! Thanks Guys.
9:11 - Haha! Lehrer really wants McCain and Obama to talk directly to eachother. He sounds like my dad when I went to birthday parties as a five year old and didn't want to talk to any one. "Just go up and talk to 'em. Say hi. They'll be nice." "I donwanna." "Just talk to them, come on." "No thanks, jeez."
9:15 - John McCain says we are spending way too much. Haha, he tried to make a horrible joke about giving $3 Million paternity tests to bears. The Federal Government is The Maury Show of the forest. Yogi, you are not the father. I am the only one who found that joke funny, I think. Anyway, he says he will veto any inappropriate spending bill.
9:18 - Hey, John McCain, everyone knows you hate pork. You are financially kosher. We know, but hey keep on talking about it and let Obama take the opportunity to speak directly to the middle and lower class in words they understand.
9:21 - Uh, John McCain $500 buys health care? $500 is now my co-pay.
9:23 - Senator Obama voted for a Christmas tree FESTOONED with ornaments. FESTOONED.
9:25 - John McCain's tie is really ugly. I'm not saying Obama's is that great, but egads Johnny.
9:26 - Lehrer's tie is pretty fug too, while we're on the subject. Any way McCain just GIGGLED.
9:27 - By the by, if anyone doesn't think Obama's health care plan is a million times better than McCain's you are either out of touch or an idiot. Sorry. I'm not saying it is perfect but shit as it is is out of wack and McCain's doesn't help.
9:28 - Obama wants broadband lines in rural communities, so farmers can look at high def internet porn.
9:29 - They keep talking about cutting taxes. No one cares about taxes if they aren't making any money to pay taxes on. Bump my rate up 5% if it puts the economy on the right track and I end up making like 10% more. Y'know. Maybe I am an idiot. I am willing to admit this, unlike John McCain.
9:33 - I do not know anything about the economy, by the way. Can we get to the foreign relations part? I want to know if John McCain has decided if he knows what a Spain is or not.
9:36 - John McCain hates spending. He hates it so much. He is going to hatefuck spending out of this country back to whatever socialist European country it came from, and make America a spend free country (where we'll have no money).
9:38 - How many times is it now that John McCain has stated he isn't Miss Congeniality?
9:39 - Hell yeah! Foreign relations!
9:39 - You know I am sick of hearing Republicans say Democrats wanted to cut and run before "winning." There were like five people who said that. Actually 4 and half. Dennis Kuchinich (sp? idk) counts as a half. Most didn't say we were going to get out of there in total defeat, but maybe that we shouldn't have gone in the first place.
9:40 - Which is what Obama is saying now. Shoulda never went, no sir.
9:41 - Oh, Obama said orgy at some point.
9:44 - I think half of America just remembered that we're still fighting a war in Iraq - Yawns - Wonders if they'll be discussing Bristol Palin's baby.
9:45 - We don't have enough troops? I hear there's a bunch of ex-investment bankers looking for jobs. (omg the original "punch line" of that "joke" is probably a bit too touchy after this afternoon.)
9:53 - This just in from a web nerd "friend": "the more up-to-date information should be at the top instead of scrolling down WTF poor web design!! >:|" Sorry, I guess I made a bad decision. I am the John McCain of live blogging.
9:54 - My mom is calling me. This is the mom who was surprised when I told her George Bush wanted to make abortion illegal. Needless to say, it's not surprising she's not watching.
9:55 - Oh wait, I'm supposed to be watching these guys ... who are still talking ... and hahah Obama just mentioned McCain's little "Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran" diddy
9:59 - John McCain wears a bracelet someone gave him. Bill Clinton wears a bracelet someone gave him. I have no idea what is going on at this point. Can we bring Bush back? "Rumors on the Internets!" Classic.
10:00 - Obama has a fucking bracelet too! You can't be president if you don't wear a bracelet.
10:02 - "We can not allow a second holocaust, let's be clear." Really, was that an issue people were murky about? Alsooooo ..... we allowed Darfur?
10:05 - Who is this Senator Kyle? Why did he not comment on my Tropical Storm Kyle post?
10:07 - How can Obama say he is ready to talk to his enemies if he won't even talk to McCain after Jim Lehrer nicely asked him to several times?
10:08 - McCain just mentioned Raul Castro. I could hear the roar from Little Havana all the way in Midtown.
10:10 - Do we learn anything new from these debates ever? Do people think that undecided voters know what they're even talking about at this point? IDK IDK.
10:12 - OMG. The reason for John McCain's weird comments about Spain: A devious plan so he could make some stupid joke about Obama's podium seal.
10:15 - I haven't had a cigarette in an HOUR AND A HALF. Unless my mom is reading this, than I haven't had a cigarette in a LIFETIME AND A HALF.
10:20 - I don't know why either of these guys think they have any business talking about Russia. Can they even see it from their house?
10:22 - John McCain has over 9000 houses, even if he can't remember them all, so it is possibly that, yes, he can see Russia from his house.
10:24 - Obama tried to interrupt and correct some lie and McCain just keeps on talking. It's possible he just can't hear him.
10:29 - I don't think there was a slam dunk winner. The only losers are my fingers, which are tired of typing.
10:30 - Specific dates for withdrawal doesn't EQUAL defeat. Hey, according to McCain circa 2002 we won this war before we even started it.
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10:33 - Haha. McCain OF ALL PEOPLE is telling Obama he should admit that HE made a mistake. Get back to us when you get rid of Sarah Palin.
10:35 - This live blog imploded quicker than Giuliani's campaign. "We're almost finished" thank God.
10:37 - It is over!!! I am so tired. I will try to put together some thoughts on this that are actually worth something at some time in the future, maybe. All in all, I was really hoping McCain would bomb and say a bunch of jibber jabber, because that would have been fun to blog about. Instead he just acted like Big Daddy Grumps. I dunno. I am going to have to rewatch this, and then I can read my live blog as I go along, and it'll be like I am in your position ("your position" meaning the position of the five friends who politely looked in at this once through out the debate).