Letters from the Issue of September 3, 2009

Magnum Force

Racial baloney: Regarding "Who Was That Mugged Man?" (Gus Garcia-Roberts, August 27): I think it is ridiculous the police are still on the lookout for two young black men with dreadlocks. I hope the two innocent young men find a good lawyer and demand some DNA testing. It saddens me to see that people of other races still think the easiest way to get out of trouble is to pin it on a black person. It's pathetic, and I hope Paul Magnum gets what he deserves, in or out of jail.






More Pet Perversion

Malcolm into the middle: New Times must be desperate for readers if it published "Animal Instincts" (Thomas Francis, August 20). This article was beyond ridiculous. Malcolm Brenner sounds like a peculiar character. Ummm, seduced by a dolphin — that's a first.

Each time I encounter a dog, male or female, it always cuddles up to my legs till I scratch its back. According to Malcolm, the dogs are trying to seduce/entice me into a sexual affair.

Questions for Malcolm: Did you use a rubber when you splashed the dolphin? Is there such a thing as a maritime STD? If you and the dolphin conceived a love child, would it be a mermaid? Have you ever done it with a male dolphin? I've heard orca whales need to have their schlongs massaged routinely. Would you volunteer?

Instead of harming a dolphin, why not buy an inflatable doll?




Zoo guy speaks: Anyone who says "animals can't consent" has never lived on a farm, spent much time in the woods, or watched the Discovery Channel. If female animals could not consent, every sex act in the animal kingdom would be rape, and clearly this is not the case.

Female animals show consent by allowing males to smell or lick their hindquarters and by "flagging," i.e., exposing their hindquarters with the tail cocked to one side so the vulva is showing. Mares, as any horse owner knows, can "wink" their clitoris at a stallion. Finally, females give consent by allowing the male to mount them!

But more than that, female animals in heat can be the sexual aggressors, mounting the male and performing other acts to make him take notice. I have witnessed (and in some cases photographed) them in mammals, birds, and even insects.

This notion that animals can't consent reflects more on our paternalistic and patronizing attitude toward animals than it does on their actual behavior. If you want to do something positive for animals, quit picking on us zoos and switch to soymilk, free-range meat, and eggs.

Malcolm Brenner

Punta Gorda


Poop patrol: There is absolutely no comparison between the relationship of two humans and the relationship between a human and an animal. The fact that humans are sexually attracted to another species means nothing except that these people have a fetish.

I am quite certain that if you were to take one of these "loved" animals (let's use a male dog as an example) and put it in a room with a human who loves it and a bitch in heat, it will go for the bitch and not even be aware the human exists.

I dearly love my pets. I can even see how a young person might interpret that to mean sexual love, particularly during the years of his or her sexual development. But to make it an open and acceptable behavior? I think not.

There are people who get great sexual satisfaction from eating feces. That doesn't mean it should be on restaurant menus.




Goodbye, Carlos

Miami-Dade airlines: "Ridin' Dirty" (Francisco Alvarado, August 20) shows a lack of respect from Miami-Dade County Mayor Carlos Alvarez. I never voted for him, nor did I vote for a strong mayor. I thought we already had a dictator 90 miles away. Now I see we have a lousy dictator along with a disgusting politburo! It's time we county employees protest this mockery. I'm glad that bastard cannot run again for mayor. The county manager is another low-life crook. We county employees need to wake up and tell the unions that if they don't fight this, they will pay at the next election. Once they begin taking away our earned benefits, it will be just like what Frank Lorenzo did to the Eastern Air Lines pilots.




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