Letters from the Issue of August 21, 2008
Get Her a Container
You lazy bureaucrats: In regard to Lee Klein's August 14 story "Kick the Bottle": I have lived in North Miami Beach on 178th Street since January 2007. I have never received recycling containers to save the plastic bottles. Maybe someone will see this letter and take care of this problem. Thanks!
North Miami Beach
Save the Iguana
Or at least kill it with respect: It is legal to kill iguanas in Florida, but it must be done humanely. The idiot described in Jason Handelsman's August 14 story "The Iguana Huntress" should be arrested for animal cruelty, not to mention bringing a weapon onto a college campus! Florida's cruelty to animals statute (828.12) protects all animals — including iguanas — from a cruel death.
Or maybe kill the killer: This iguana killer is a psycho bitch. Let's see — iguanas aren't native to South Florida; they were brought here by humans. Humans release them into the wild when they're bored of them as pets. Then, when iguanas overmultiply, we must "control the pest." What substance has this Selene Cohen been smoking? Iguanas attack children? No, iguanas run from humans; they avoid contact whenever possible.
Dangerous pest? Maybe Selene is confusing the iguanas with the Burmese python, another reptile brought to South Florida by pet owners. The python is dangerous and can attack, strangle, and easily kill even a grown man. Why doesn't Selene try hunting pythons? Riptide should report this crazy bitch for animal cruelty and unlawful hunting.
Jack Versus Rumpole
C'mon out into the open, you chicken: After reading Natalie O'Neill's August 14 story "Rumple Roast," I am delighted to set the record straight as to what the anonymous blogger "Rumpole" does. This past week, he filed a bar complaint against me alleging I had threatened a golfer with violence at the Biltmore Golf Course. He said to the bar, in his formal complaint, that the police report proved it and that he wanted me disbarred.
Well, I went and got the police report, and it says just the opposite. It says what all the eyewitnesses confirm: that my group and I were threatened with a beating from the group behind us, and that I was the one who called the police. I was completely exonerated. Rumpole made this up.
When I responded to the bar and copied him with my response, as I am required to do, Rumpole sent me e-mails threatening me for "harassing" him.
When Rumpole has posted articles on his site lampooning me and my efforts against the porn industry and the bar, I have tried to post my responses to these libels. Rumpole intercepts the responses and won't post them.
This is not free speech. This is an anonymous coward who bullies people he doesn't like and then uses his "free speech site" to prevent them from defending themselves. I am now involved in litigation to find out who this anonymous bully is, and when I find out, New Times will be the first to know.
Grateful for Naked
And cool with Janine: I don't usually write fan letters, but after reading Janine Zeitlin's July 24 story "Naked Lunch," I felt I had to express my appreciation. I am not a regular reader of New Times. In fact I had never heard of it before today, when a friend gave me a copy on the beach. He was astonished that I was laughing so much as I read the article. So I had to read aloud the passages that I found funny. For example: The strip joint in a Doral warehouse where you can also find good deals on marble is Woody Allen-funny. It doesn't get better than that. And Zeitlin writes sentences that are extraordinarily evocative. This is New Yorker-quality writing, which is probably where she will end up someday.
It isn't easy to write about something that is both sad and funny, but she did it.
Sunny Isles Beach
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