This Little Piggy
Pays your taxes: Gus Garcia-Roberts's March 26 feature story, "Pork Pirates," misses the point about people on farms who raise pigs, cows, and other animals. They need to make money in order to support themselves and their families.
If the writer enjoyed the barbecue pig, he should shut his mouth and recommend more people buy it. It is harder and harder to find live pigs in Miami for tasty traditional Cuban cooking.
Don't forget that those leeches of Miami-Dade County keep raising taxes, and our citizens have to work harder and harder to make money to pay them.
Editor's note: The writer did not eat any barbecue pig. He is a vegetarian.
Feeds a Texan: I wonder how many lechoneras I've been to that served meat from one of these slaughterhouses. Great job on this story!
It'll cost you: Chuck Strouse's March 26 "Stadium Skeptics" had it right. Get your money back? For the new Marlins stadium? Just wait for the repairs, updates, and parking lots. You will be paying for this forever.
Via Web Commentary
Je Aime Kitty
But not at work: Excuse my French, but how the f*** does nastiness like Raina McLeod's March 19 "Kitty Jumps into the Jacuzzi" get posted on a link from Yahoo! news? I just got to work and the last thing I want to read is about wet sex, lube, and unwanted babies. Yuck! I'll read that on my own time, at home, curled up with my New Times on the couch.
And definitely not in the tub: Your hot-tub sex advice is wrong and puts the lady parts at high risk. The woman can get water thrust into her urinary tract, and it can cause serious problems and infections. Maybe you should do some reading before you do some writing.
Speed Er Up
You prima donnas: Jose Flores's March 19 story, "Slow Shows," got it right. Here are my suggestions: First, begin the shows at 8:30. If you want to see the band, you won't go to the movies and then to the club; you will just go to the club. On nights featuring many bands, limit the sets of the earlier bands to 25 minutes. Even if there is no limit by the promoter/owner, if you are playing early, be polite and play 25 minutes. Encourage shared back lines and quick equipment changes. Tune up while the band before you is playing. Do not stall to wait for the crowd to show up. When it is your time, play. Do not pull rank or make excuses to get to play earlier or later than your prearranged slot. Do not collude with other bands to rearrange the band order that has been set. If you want to follow or play before a certain band, set it up with the club owner/promoter beforehand, not the night of the show.
Last, club owners and promoters should impose their will with more authority: "You go on at 11 and finish at 11:30 — if you are not on at 11, you still finish at 11:30." They should do this even it means turning the electricity off on a band that is running over.
Via web commentary
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Change is gonna come: Francisco Alvarado's March 19 article "Unequal Justice" was great in the way it described the abuses inmates suffer at the hands of DOC employees. Unfortunately, inmates are social pariahs, relocated to the dustbin of oblivion by all but the few who still care about them. They exist in the distant shadows of our conscience, because America is a society of selective deniability, and prison is something we choose to ignore. No need to comment about the immorality of exploiting women trapped in such a helpless vacuum. Guards who engage in this behavior are worse criminals than the inmates. But there is a simple solution to the problem: Collect DNA samples from all DOC personnel, create a database, and refer to it when a complaint is made and proof is offered. If inmates can smuggle heroin and other illegal substances into prison, surely they can smuggle semen samples out of prison.
What happens when guards have no answer for the question: How did your semen get into her crotch? Justice.