LeBron James' Handy Miami Primer
Hey there, LeBron, why are you riding your bicycle around Opa-Locka? What's that, you're lost and disoriented? Well, fold this handy primer into your pocket and South Florida will seem just like home, you'll see!
"Cleveland rocks": "I'm in Miami Bitch"
Pasty whiteness: Orange luminescence
NPC Southern States Bodybuilding Championships vs. NPC Southern States Fitness & Figure Championships
TicketsSat., Jul. 8, 6:00pm
Florida Launch vs. Chesapeake Bayhawks
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 7:00pm
Florida Launch vs. Charlotte Hounds
TicketsSat., Jul. 22, 7:00pm
Intl. Champions Cup pres. by Heineken: Paris Saint-Germain v Juventus
TicketsWed., Jul. 26, 8:30pm
Love handles: Liposuction
Great Lakes six pack: Cocaine eight-ball
Home invasions: Ponzi schemes
Burning river: Oil spill
East Fourth: Calle Ocho
Sokolowski's University Inn: Versailles Cafe
Drew Carey: Gloria Estefan
Empty factories: Empty condos
Crippling unemployment: Crippling unemployment
Moving to New York to succeed: Moving from New York to die
Corn hole: Bocce
Bone Thugs N' Harmony: 2 Live Crew
Jim Brown: Don Shula
"The Q": Uh, "Triple-A"?
Unconditional love with a side of unhealthy obsession: Extreme expectations with a side of apathy
Art Modell LeBron James: Fidel Castro
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Miami, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.