Kitty Draws Her Claws on Captain Save-a-Ho
I am 39 years old, have two kids, and am separated from my wife of six years. Not long ago, I began dating my 27-year-old ex-girlfriend, who has never been in a serious relationship. Though she has commitment issues, I've really never stopped loving her. I halfway enjoyed the fact that over the years she continued to call me to rescue her. Sometimes I would bail her out and sometimes I would steer clear of her domestic drama. Since we hooked up again, our relationship is so-so. She is always out on the town, and sometimes everything I do annoys her. Either we're arguing or I don't know where the hell she is. But I love her. So should I wait until she loses some of the baggage, or should I just cut this girl off now?
You're just getting out of a superserious relationship and already you're trying to get Miss Sex and the City to trade in her fuck-me pumps for a pair of your wife's run-down house shoes? It's funny you think she needs to "lose some of the baggage." With your pending divorce and responsibility for two rug rats, you're coming at her with more luggage than Louis Vuitton. Sweet. I'm sure she is really excited about everything you're bringing to the table. Your commitment-happy ass probably represents everything this chick is running from, hence the disgust and annoyance.
Plus you seem to be putting unfair stress on her. Let's face it — you're nothing more than a member of this girl's "team." Reddy, I don't know whether you look good, fuck good, are friendly with your credit card, and can fight, change a tire, fix her laptop, and do her taxes, but chances are you're just one of many men who fit comfortably into her lifestyle. Because you say she would call you when she needed to be rescued, I'm thinking your role is Captain Save-a-Ho. But since you pick and choose which dramas you help her escape from, you're really a fake-ass version of the guy every gal needs in her life. So what you should do — for her sake and yours — is step the fuck aside. You're breaking all the rules: There's no I in team, stay in your lane, know your role, all of that. Step off. Meow.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- ISIS-Sympathizing Uber Driver Who Wanted to Kill Miamians Is Sentenced to Ten Years in...
Sun., Aug. 2, 1:05pm
Tue., Aug. 4, 6:35pm
Wed., Aug. 5, 6:35pm
Thu., Aug. 6, 6:35pm
- Harlem Suarez Planned to Blow Up Key West Beach in ISIS-Inspired Attack
- Miami Is the Most Expensive City in America for Millennials to Rent