Kim Kardashian's Next Husband Is Gonna Be...
"Luke" Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the
U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he
wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has some
relationship advice for Kim Kardashian.
It shouldn't surprise anyone
interested in celebrity culture that Kim Kardashian is making a
mockery of marriage. She's just following the Hollywood playbook
used by other star divas, from Elizabeth Taylor to Madonna to Jennifer
Lopez. All of them think marriage is a joke.
They are the reason the divorce rate is out of control in this country. You get married, split up, and move onto the next hot celebrity on your "I do" list. Kardashian is on hubby number two.
She accused the first, record producer Damon Thomas, of beating her and keeping her from her family after he filed to divorce her in 2003. Last year, in an interview with a gossip magazine, Thomas claimed his ex "is obsessed with fame" and "would step on anyone in order to get where she wanted."
Now she is allegedly talking things out with estranged husband Kris Humphries. It is two weeks after she filed for divorce, which came only 72 days after she was paid millions to put on a wedding spectacle.
Every day, there's a new episode of "As the Kardashian Turns." And gossip mongers like TMZ, Us Weekly, and Access Hollywood gobble it up. I wouldn't be shocked if she reconciles with Humphries so she can get pregnant and then sell the first photos of their baby to the highest bidder.
But if things don't work out for Kim and Kris, here are a few single male stars who would certainly help her stay in the spotlight:
- Justin Bieber: The teen crooner will be of legal age by March. Kim can solidify herself as the youngest cougar in Hollywood.
- Marc Anthony: Sure, Kim would get J.Lo's sloppy seconds, but he is still part owner of the Miami Dolphins and the hottest Latin male singer on the market.
- Tiger Woods: Kim has already made a sex tape, and he likes porn stars. Talk about a love connection.
- Silvio Berlusconi: If there is anyone who knows how to survive most crises, it's the former Italian prime minister. Kim could certainly use some crisis management guidance and a man who truly appreciates women.
Follow Luther on Twitter at @unclelukereal1.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.