If Jimmy Buffett hasn't already written a sappy acoustic ballad about the foibles of Thomas Knight, it's probably only a matter of time. The 57-year-old Conch had such a strong hankering for another cold one, local police say, that he broke into the Key West Airport to steal a six pack from the terminal bar.
Which, come to think of it, raises a question or two about security at the Conch Republic's international airport.
An airport security worker named Sonja Fleita was on her early morning rounds around 5:45 a.m. last Friday when she noticed a figure walking through the empty terminal, says Becky Herrin, a spokeswoman for the Monroe County Sheriff's Office.
She went to investigate and found Knight, a deliveryman who lives on Stock Island, rooting around behind the First Call Beach Bar in the arrivals area.
Fleita watched Knight grab a six pack and walk away before confronting him. Though he claimed he was just looking for someone to pay for the beer, she arrested him and charged him with trespassing.
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Knight was let off with a warning, but deputies reviewed security footage and saw Knight drinking a soda and taking beer out of a refrigerator. On Tuesday, he was arrested and charged with burglary and theft.
Get on it, Jimmy: The Conch so thirsty he broke into the airport to get a buzz.
Oh, and Homeland Security -- you may want to look into the setup at Key West International if you've got a second.