Kanye West Tying the Knot With Kim Kardashian Is Crazy
Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court Stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has some relationship advice for a famous celebrity couple.
Kanye West is arguably the most entertaining rap artist in the world. Even when you are hating on him, you have to love him because you never know what crazy shit he might say or do. He's like the youngest brother in a big family who is always doing wild things to get attention like stringing a cat up by the tail or blowing up lizards with firecrackers. Kanye is constantly getting people worked up.
But homie is making a big mistake marrying Kim Kardashian. And without a pre-nup too! Get ready Kanye. Your reality star baby momma is going to suck the life of you and clean out all the mega-millions of dollars from your bank accounts . And when she's done, Kim is going move on to the next one.
We're gonna have to put Yeezy on suicide watch.
When it comes to staying married, Kardashian isn't exactly the type to stick around
till death do us part." Hell, she couldn't stick around more than 72 days during her ill-fated nuptials to NBA player Chris Humphries, who still hasn't recovered from Kim emasculating him on her reality television show. Her marriage to Humphries was her second stormy marriage. She accused her first husband, record producer Damon Thomas, of beating her and keeping her from her family after he filed to divorce her in 2003.
All these Kardashian women are bad news for the men they marry. Bruce Jenner had his man card ripped to shreds by his soon-to-be-ex-wife Kris, Kim's mom. And she'll fight hard to make sure the 1976 Gold medal winning Olympian doesn't get a cut of all the riches the family has made from their reality TV fame.
Lamar Odom, the NBA star who once played for the Miami Heat, the Los Angeles Lakers, and the Dallas Mavericks, has completely unraveled after marrying Kim's sister Khloe. He got hooked on crack cocaine and was spotted in early September wandering the streets of Los Angeles in the wee hours, according to TMZ and other gossip news sites. And Khloe is supposed to be the nice one of the Kardashian bunch.
Since no one wants to man up, I will tell you: You're making a big mistake. You do not have the Golden Dick Award. Your name is not Golden Dick. So please Kanye, heed your own advice from your song "Gold Digger, and get that pre-nup.
Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.