Justin Bieber Is on the Edge of Crazy
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke warns that Justin Bieber might be on a dark path similar to the one followed by other young pop stars such as Lindsay Lohan.
On May 5, I invited some friends to my house to watch the Miguel Cotto-Floyd Mayweather fight. We were all surprised when the baddest of all bad-boy black dudes, Floyd Mayweather, walked into the ring with Justin Bieber, the world's most beloved innocent white teenager. Bieber must have gone rogue, because no record executive would have allowed the Canadian crooner to be seen next to one of the most hated boxers in history. That kid just seemed so out of place. He doesn't even know how to put on a mean face.
Maybe Bieber, like Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears, is getting tired of being a squeaky-clean pop star. A lot of these universally loved mainstream artists grow weary of their public vanilla personalities. They simply don't want to be nice and cute anymore. They want to be hard-core. Look at Whitney Houston. When she sang the National Anthem before Super Bowl XXV in 1991, she became America's sweetheart. But it was all downhill from there. She married bad-boy R&B singer Bobby Brown and began doing drugs and abusing alcohol.
MC Hammer is another example. He got tired of being a pop rapper known for his dancing skills, so he made a thug record. No one bought it, and people were like, "What the fuck are you doing?"
Last week, Bieber told Us Weekly he was relieved to have graduated from high school. "At school, usually you have to do a lot of writing and reading," he said. "I'm not really into that stuff. I like to be out there." So Bieber's handlers need to get him under control soon, or he could get into some serious trouble.
If they see Justin doing any of the following, they'll know he has lost his mind:
• He gets a teardrop tattoo on his face and wears his pants saggy like Lil Wayne's.
• He beats up his girlfriend à la Chris Brown, who was a squeaky-clean pop star before he punched Rihanna.
• He tries to date Miami rapper Trina.
• He rides around South Beach in a Bugatti during Memorial Day weekend while wearing a wifebeater and a diamond pendant chain.
• He hangs out with Mayweather at King of Diamonds and makes it rain on the strippers.
If you see Bieber doing any of those things, you know he's in need of Dr. Phil.
Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.