Jason Terry's Stupid Tattoo Will Come Back to Haunt Him, Unless He Takes Our Advice
Keith Allison via Wikimedia Commons
When Dwyane Wade left his hand in the air after swishing a three-pointer to put the Heat up by 15 in Game 2, Jason Terry took offense. The Dallas Mav-prick followed Wade toward half-court, cussing him out. And when the Mavs came back to win in the dying seconds, Terry cited Wade's celebratory gesture as inspiration.
Let's take a moment to remember: this is the guy who got a tattoo of the freakin' NBA trophy on his arm before the finals even began. Talk about premature celebration.
Now that the Heat is back on ass-kicking track with its win over Dull-ass last night, we hope Terry's stupid tattoo comes back to haunt him. Just in case he doesn't want a painful reminder of his shortcomings permanently inked on his arm, however, we've come up with five ways to transform the tattoo to hide his arrogance.
• Beautiful butterfly: Terry is obviously a sensitive guy. Why else would he flip out when Wade simply followed through on a sweet shot? Terry is himself a three-point specialist who doesn't shy away from celebrating. So maybe a nice, colorful arthropod on his arm would boost his self-esteem above douchebag level. Just add some wings to the existing tat, and voila.
• Propeller plane: Despite his nickname and his own annoying airplane celebrations, Terry is not really much of a jet. Instead, his tattoo should feature an old-timey plane that's just like him: slow and prone to breaking down in the clutch.
• Ice-cream cone: Maybe Dallas's defeat will be so crushing that Terry will go off the rails in Gucci Mane fashion. If he does, he already has the rapper's ice-cream cone tattoo halfway done -- just in a slightly more subtle spot.
• Jason Terry: He's tall and bald, just like the trophy. The tattoo practically inks itself. Besides, meta-tattoos are in these days. It would be a RIP to his own naiveté.
• Penis: Why not? The basic design is already there. Plus it's less embarrassing than admitting you got a trophy tattooed on your arm before you actually won it.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.