Is Anyone in Miami Aware the Florida Panthers Don't Suck This Year?
By now most Miamians are vaguely aware that there's a professional sporting concern up in Sunrise that participates in some sort of Canadian folk sport nonsense known as "hockey." But were you aware that this team, which purports to call itself the "Florida Panthers," does not absolutely suck this year? Were you even aware that for the past dozen or so years these Panthers have sucked pretty hard? It's possible that the Panthers could have won the last five Stanley Cups, and Miamians still wouldn't even know what a Stanley Cup is.
Well, it's true that they have sucked for a long time, but they're leading their division now and pulled off a historic victory last night.
You see, last night the Panthers put on these weird shoes with knives strapped to their soles and managed to stick around some puck until it went into a net more than their opponent, the Vancouver Canucks.
Things are finally looking up the Panthers, however! They're leading their division at roughly the halfway through their season. Unlike real American sports, the NHL decides its standings in part by goals scored, and the Panthers have managed to put the puck into the net 50 times this season -- five more goals than any other teams in their division.
If things keep up the Panthers might certainly make it to the playoffs for the first time in twelve years. But, we here are Riptide would like to know one important things: Does anyone in Miami care?
After the Panthers moved from downtown Miami up to Sawgrass Mills land did we all just decide, "You know what Broward, you can have this team all to your own! You have your own professional sports team! You guys go ahead and figure out this weird ice sport?"
So, please, to figure out whether or not Riptide should continue to occasionally cover these non-sucky Florida Panthers we would like you to answer the following questions. Feel free to leave your answers in the comment section:
1. The current leading scorer for the Panthers is named:
a) Johnny Weir
b) Probably some guy from Canada, maybe named Sven or Jean-Christophe or something?
c) Kris Versteeg
d) LeBron James
2. Ice is a crucial part of an NHL game for the current reason:
a) It keeps the crowd's cocktails cold.
b) It is the surface on which a game is played.
c) Vanilla Ice is now the league's commissioner.
d) The winner of the game is awarded diamond jewelry.
3. The following is the name of a team the Panthers have defeated this season:
a) The Winnipeg Jets
b) The Manitoba Mounties
c) The Saskatoon Saskatoonians
d) The Alberta Aboots
e) The Degrassi Street Drakes