Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell looks back on the Year of the Booty Man.
I had an exciting, productive 2011. I set goals for myself and accomplished quite a lot in the past 365 days. As we count down to 2012, I want to reflect on some of the more poignant moments of the past year:
Running for county mayor. While WPLG's Michael Putney and the Miami Herald editorial board ridiculed my candidacy, respectable mainstream news organizations, from WLRN to CNN, took me seriously. Even the neoconservative bible the Weekly Standard expounded on my plan to help the county's sinking budget by taxing pole cats and making other innovative changes. I was going to make Miami-Dade a better place. I didn't win, but I pulled in 11 percent of the vote with just $12,000 in campaign contributions. Not bad for a first-time candidate.
Suing Nevin Shapiro. That grimy pipsqueak Ponzi schemer had some nerve calling himself "Lil' Luke" because he allegedly showered University of Miami football and basketball players with free dinners and trips to strip clubs.
Being right about the Miami Dolphins and Michelle Spence-Jones. I correctly predicted the Miami city commissioner would beat the criminal charges against her and that Miami's NFL franchise would suck this season.
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Remembering Nick Navarro. If it weren't for the former Broward County sheriff, I would never have fought all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court to protect a citizen's right to sell and perform any song with raunchy rap lyrics. Even though Nick was wrong for coming after me and 2 Live Crew, he was still a pioneer in South Florida law enforcement. I will always fondly remember our nationally televised confrontations on Geraldo Rivera's and Phil Donahue's shows.
Giving out-of-town rappers an ultimatum. I called out the hip-hop stars soaking up all our sunshine, sleeping with all our women, and celebrating with the Dallas Mavericks at LIV after the NBA Finals. I'm implementing a plan for all the rappers, including DJ Khaled and Lil Wayne, to give back to the community with donations to inner-city youth organizations. However, I'd like to thank Lil Wayne's buddy Drake for name-dropping me on his track "The Motto."
Making a movie. I was honored when Rakontur, artist Jillian Mayer, and Borscht Film Festival organizer Lucas Leyva approached me about starring in the film short Life and Freaky Times of Uncle Luke. I look forward to hosting a major booty throwdown in Park City, Utah, when we show the movie at the Sundance Film Festival. We'll kick off 2012 with a helluva bang.
Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.