If I Stole a Bus...

If I decided to steal a Miami-Dade transit bus, I would hit 95 south and gun it straight to the Keys. The authorities would find me and the bus 6 months later, me driving the bus with one foot (because my hands would be full of the lobsters I just caught) and blasting Lil' Kim over the loudspeaker. Each row of seats would be re-upholstered in white leather and there would be copies of Italian Vogue and US Weekly strewn everywhere. When the cops find me, I'll scream out my best rendition of the Dreamgirls classic, "And I am telling you, I'm not goin'. This the best bus I ever known, there's no way I could ever go...back to Dade County." But that's just me.

When 18-year-old James L. Harris stole a bus, he was dressed like a busdriver, picked up and dropped off passengers, and returned the bus at the end of the day. WTF?

-- Raina McLeod


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