How to Save Florida's Economy: Make Everything a Nudist Colony!
Like many small business owner on Florida, Paul Hodges has been struggling over the past few years. His Cocoa Beach motel, the Fawlty Towers, has seen its profits plummet. So, he's come up with a new plan to jolt his bottom line. Starting tomorrow the Fawlty Towers will now be a nudist colony. Nudity: it's clearly the Sunshine State's ticket out of the recession. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?
"It's sort of a make-or-break situation. We can't pay ourselves in winter. We had to scrap health insurance," Hodges tells USA Today. "Every year it gets a little bit worse."
He blames competition from corporate chain hotels, and after several years of thinking about making a change he finally proposed the idea of converting to a clothing option resort to the motel's co-owner, his ex-wife. She loved the idea.
"It's just a niche in the market. There's no competition in 100 miles," Hodge says.
Weekend bookings are already filling up.
This naked business plan isn't totally without precedent. Supporters of Miami's own nude beach in Haulover Park claim that it attracts more tourists dollars than the county's three pro-sports teams combined. Pasco County has contemplated using to tax dollars to promote itself as a haven for nudists.
Clearly more buttocks, as smooth and exposed as our governor's head, are the path forward for Florida's economy!
Light attendance at your yoga studio? Have you tried offering hot, nude yoga?
Slow business at your restaurant on a Monday? How about offering a clothing optional dinning night? (Just don't order the fish).
Trying to attract patrons to your community theater? Have you thought about offering Shakespeare in the nude?
Ain't nothing wrong with the body God gave you. Besides, we all have the Internet now. No one should be shocked by nudity anymore, and there's hardly a business out there that couldn't benefit from offering some services to nudists.
Except clothing stores. Sorry, clothing stores. Maybe try stocking transparent rain coats?
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.