The Miami Heat looked like they were on their way to demolishing the entire Milwaukee Bucks franchise into a fine powder after scoring a season-high 40 points in the opening quarter of last night's game. And then?
Deercocks.
For what seemed like the 30 billionth time this season, the Heat couldn't close out their opponent after a huge lead and got lit up from downtown by a barrage of three pointers the likes of which have only been written about in Biblical accounts. The Bucks outscored Miami 82-57 after that first quarter onslaught, draining 10 threes and beating the Heat 105-97.
It was the second time this season the Heat have fallen to the Bucks. Led by Brandon Jennings' 31 points, including seven three pointers on the night, Milwaukee's antidote for LeBron James' season-high 40 points was to make the Heat defense look like old people fucking, and then dropping a gazillion three pointers on them. All without their best player, Andrew Bogut, who was out with an injury.
Dwyane Wade scored 23 points while Chris Bosh had a shit night, going 4-for-10 and finishing the game with 9 points.
Still, after the first quarter it seemed as if James was on his way to a 800-point evening, so Bosh's laundry bags of ass performance wouldn't have mattered so much had the Heat kept their shit together and pulled off the win.
But this game isn't on Bosh. The Heat's defense was atrocious. The Bucks offense clobbered Miami's defense in the dick like a boxer with a speed bag, outscoring the Heat 44-30 in the paint, getting 22 points off 18 Miami turnovers, and another 27 points from their bench, while the Heat bench scored a whole seven combined points.
Lost in this pissbucket of a game was LeBron's 40-point performance (he did have 7 turnovers too, the shithead), and this monster interception/slam dunk thing he did at the end of the first quarter.
That would be it for the highlights for the rest of the night for Miami, however. The remainder of the evening would have the Heat wallowing in deer shit.
Any loss is going to suck balls. But when you have a double-digit lead and the other team is without their top player, it's extra special balls sucky. For the Heat, in particular, because this is nothing new.
Sure, it's February and this is no time to panic. Not when the Heat are coming off an impressive five-game winning streak, and LeBron is playing out of his fucking gourd. But these late-game big lead meltdowns are something all too familiar. The Bucks went Dallas Mavericks Game 2 of the NBA Finals on the Heat last night. And that's what really makes everyone's asshole hurt.
The biggest cause for alarm this season has to be the Heat getting three pointers shot on them at an insane clip. Miami leads the league in three-pointers allowed, and a big part of Milwaukee's comeback was that they dropped 10 of those fucking things on Miami last night. And while some nights the Heat can survive three-point storms (like they did against the Knicks last Friday), there comes a point in time where the fluke needs to be recognized as a trend.
Everyone shoots lights out threes against this team.
Everyone.
Everyone.
Erik Spoelstra needs to kick his "It's a process" explanations to the fucking curb, and get this team to commit to defending the three point line better.
Other than that, the Heat need to keep doing what they do, clean up their shit, and get back to it. No need to get all weird and introverted like they would do last season after bad losses.
Leave the panic attacks and shit parades to the fans.
The Heat visit the Philadelphia 76ers on Friday. Tipoff is 7 p.m.
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