FSU vs. Miami: The Rivalry Continues (And Uncle Luke Promises Lots of Boobs)
Few rivalries in all of sports are as heated and historic as that between the Miami Hurricanes and Florida State Seminoles, and it's safe to say that if you don't know what's happening this weekend there's little hope you'll care. It's the biggest friggin' night in athletics in the Sunshine State. Plus, guess which Riptide contributor is calling for a topless cheering section?
So, we don't even know what to say that hasn't already been said. Both teams come into the meeting ranked, and the loser is likely to come out dropped from the rankings, while the winner becomes (or in Miami's case, really, cements their status as) the favorite to win the ACC.
But, hey, Miami comes into the game as the highest-ranked program in the state for the first time since 2005. They have the home field advantage too, so things are kind of looking their way. Oddsmakers have them as the favs. Then again, 2005 was also the last year when the home team won the rivalry, with the Seminoles taking that game up in Tallahassee.
Put in a few jokes about "Wide Right," make a mention of Jimbo Fisher's first year and Jacory's interceptions, and that's just about everything you've already heard.
This year though New Times columnist Luther Campbell is pushing for a slightly new misogynistic twist to the rivalry:
Miami has a chance of recapturing the boob advantage in the cheering section for the first time in a while. FSU used to hold the edge with Jenn Sterger, but she moved on to bigger and better thing (a job with the Jets), before being the recipient of smaller and grosser things (Brett Favre's alleged cock pits).
Of course, anytime you in anyway mix anything having to do with the Seminoles and the Jets together you're guaranteed something extra trashy or gross.
Anyway, tune in this weekend (Saturday at 8 p.m. on ABC), because you know it's going to be good.
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