Florida Woman Calls 911 For Help Finding a Spot to Pee in the Woods, Turns Out She Was Just Intoxicated at Home
Does a bear pee in the woods? That's an easy question. Does a Florida meth-head pee in the woods? That's apparently a more complicated question than one could ever imagine.
Marcia Usher, 32 of Hudson, Florida, called 911 and reported that she was lost in the woods and didn't know where to pee. Mayber Usher is a bit more pee shy than us, because we'd assume the woods was one big urinal. Turns out, however, Usher wasn't even lost in the woods at all.
According to WTSP and the Pasco Sheriff's Office, deputies responded Wednesday night to Usher's house to find her nowhere near the woods, but rather in her own front yard.
She seemed intoxicated and was drinking a beer. After receiving permission, officers searched a nearby cooler. Usher said that there was a knife inside. Instead they found a handgun placed on top a bunch of cold beer.
After a brief struggle, Usher was handcuffed. During a strip search at jail authorities discovered a small vile with meth residue on Usher's body.
Usher now faces charges of carrying a concealed weapon without a permit, possession of methamphetamine, introduction/possession of contraband in a detention facility, and resisting arrest without violence.
No word on whether she ever found anywhere to pee.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Hialeah Ranked Worst Place to Retire in Florida Despite Sizable Elderly Population
Fri., Sep. 4, 11:30am
Fri., Sep. 4, 6:35pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 11:30am
Sat., Sep. 5, 7:00pm
- Miami FC Announces Italian Soccer Star Alessandro Nesta as Head Coach
- Residents Vow to Continue Fighting Midtown Walmart After Losing Court Appeal