Florida Man Wears No Pants, Masturbates at McDonald's Drive-Thru

A 65-year-old Florida man went to a McDonald's drive-thru looking for a happy ending to go with his Happy Meal, police say. Clemons was arrested after rolling up to the window at his local Micky D's without pants, grabbing a cashier's hand, and trying to force her to touch his...

By Tim Elfrink

October 7, 2013

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "19274298",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17482312",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18711090",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17482310",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18711090",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17482313",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

A 65-year-old Florida man went to a McDonald's drive-thru looking for a happy ending to go with his Happy Meal, police say.

Clemons was arrested after rolling up to the window at his local Micky D's without pants, grabbing a cashier's hand, and trying to force her to touch his junk.

The drive-thru sex crime went down in Wildwood, Florida, a town in Sumter County, northeast of Tampa.

Around 5:40 p.m. September 21, Clemons drove up to the first window at the McDonald's, and the cashier quickly realized something was amiss.

"The cashier turned to give him his change and realized he did not have any pants on," a police affidavit obtained by the Smoking Gun reads. "[He] was masturbating at that time as well."

Before she could react, police say, Clemons grabbed her hand and tried to force her to touch him. She was able to yank her hand back and call the cops as Clemons sped away.

When police caught up to him at a nearby gas station, he was still sans pants, though he'd covered himself with a T-shirt.

Clemons has been charged with misdemeanor battery.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.

Tim Elfrink is a former investigative reporter and managing editor for Miami New Times. He has won the George Polk Award and was a finalist for the Goldsmith Prize for Investigative Reporting.

Contact: Tim Elfrink

Follow:

Twitter: @timelfrinkmia