Florida Man Threatened to Beat Neighbor, But Had To Take a Poop First
If you're neighbor yells at you, "When I get done taking a shit, I'm going to kick your fucking ass," maybe it's time to find a new neighborhood.
Of course, this started in a Florida neighborhood, and the argument started when one man took exception to the other calling his own mother "a dirty whore."
The incident went down on June 17 in Port St. Lucie. Police arrived at the door of 54-year-old Robert Gernot, according to Off The Beat. Gernot told police that his neighbor had made the grave mistake of talking to him when he was in a bad mood, and he wanted police to go over there and tell him not to bother him that day. Gernot also claimed that the neighbor had threatened to "beat my ass."
Of course, the neighbor had a different story completely. The unidentified neighbor said that he had planted a plant in Gernot's mother's front yard earlier in the day. The man gave Gernot a cigarette and a beer and the two got to talking. The neighbor then claims that Gernot started calling his own mother "a filthy whore."
"I got upset and told him to stop talking to his mother like that, and he threatened me, so I threatened him bad," the man told police.
While police were talking to the neighbor, Gernot approached. The officer told him to go back across the street to wait. He did, but turned around, started walking up the drive way and yelled, "When I get done taking a shit, I'm going to kick your fucking ass."
Yes, right in front of the officer.
Gernot ended up getting booked for making threats to carry out simple assault.
We're going to assume the jail's toilet paper was not as soft as his own.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Erika Now Projected To Miss South Florida
Fri., Sep. 4, 11:30am
Fri., Sep. 4, 6:35pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 11:30am
Sat., Sep. 5, 7:00pm
- Miami's Latin Builders Association Calls Donald Trump "Repugnant," Pulls Gala From His...
- Micky Arison Teases Internet With Miami Vice-Style Heat Jerseys