Man Wearing Dinosaur Costume and Holding Airsoft Rifle Tries to Start "Flash Mob," Gets Arrested
A quick primer on the mechanics of "flash mobs": You and some friends organize a prank — in advance — via the internet. Then, at a designated time, you all
You don't just show up in a dinosaur costume holding a fake rifle and assume everyone else will just to "catch on." That's not a flash mob. You can't simply blow a magic conch shell and wait for the other members of the Sadness League to arrive.
This past Saturday, Cocoa Police say, they found 19-year-old Anthony Berden wandering a public park while wearing what the totally understanding Cocoa cops called some sort of "'gamer' dinosaur-type costume" — a description that is a hop, skip, and, a jump from just telling the media he was dressed like a total weirdo.
Berden was seen wearing the dinosaur costume with a fake tactical police vest strapped over it. He was also wearing a black ski mask and carrying a realistic-looking airsoft rifle (and several airsoft magazines), which understandably freaked some people out and prompted someone to call the cops. When the police arrived, Berden apparently told them he "wanted to participate in a flash mob," but alas, he was the last of his species to walk the Earth.
Bikini-Clad Street Dancer With "Holla!' Tattooed on Face Arrested for Being Too Cool for the Rest of Us
There are some who think the Miami Dolphins are poorly named, given the fact that friendly aquatic mammals aren't all that intimidating. If the team ever rebrands, allow us to suggest a switch to the far more appropriate "South Florida Men With 'Holla!' Face Tattoos Who Dance in Bikinis in the Middle of the Street."
Team mascots are supposed to represent the area's Zeitgeist, and Tampa's Charles Easter has crammed literally every single one of South Florida's many stereotypes into his supple, oiled body. He's got the face tattoos, sports a tramp stamp, uses slang words, hates clothing, enjoys mood-altering substances, is almost depressingly sexual, and has an extensive criminal record. If he were part alligator, there'd honestly be no ground left to cover.
This past Tuesday, Easter — who told Local 10 News he also goes by the name "HollaBeyonceAliciaKeys-and-RiRi, which is Rihanna" — was arrested in Fort Lauderdale on "disorderly conduct" charges. The news station was unable to confirm why cops had pulled HollaBeyonce from the street. You can take your own guesses as to what happened. We're going with "vomiting glitter into a public fountain."
But watch the clip above and try to argue that Easter shouldn't dance at every Dolphins halftime break. The team could give fans T-shirt guns full of cash to shoot at Easter, and he'd happily stuff every single bill into his itsy-bitsy bikini. They could sell Charles Easter bobble-belly figurines. We could forget, for a brief minute, that we're all at a Dolphins game.
In the meantime, Easter says he's available for weddings.
County Sues to Shut Down Swingers' Club Holding Orgies Inside a Church
The City of Daytona Beach ought to be ashamed of itself for suing to shut down Minglers, a swingers' club that hosts events such as "Arabian Nights: A Harem's Orgy" inside an abandoned church. Weird public sex is pretty much the official Florida pastime. Hell, we're pretty sure the original idea for the state flag was a painting of two alligators rubbing up on a Muscovy duck.
Until September 2015, the spot where Minglers now stands — two blocks south of Daytona City Hall — was known as New Beginnings Church. Now, it's certainly still a spot for some "new beginnings" for a few bored, retired swingers looking for a new lease on life, but the city government is less than enthralled about what goes on at Minglers during the nighttime hours.
On August 19, the city sued to try to force the club to close. Daytona claims Minglers isn't zoned correctly.
Minglers claims most of its patrons simply "meet" at the club and then leave and get down to the real business elsewhere. And because Minglers doesn't serve food or alcohol, the club's lawyers told the Daytona Beach News-Journal they believe the establishment is "no different than a book club or a birding club" because its patrons simply "get together and take part in their lifestyle." That "lifestyle" apparently included an animal cage on a July 15 "jungle night." (An intrepid News-Herald reporter later confirmed there were no animals in the club that evening.)
Minglers' members say they're being railroaded out of town because they like to bone inside an old church. This is odd, considering the fact that the city otherwise functions like one huge Girls Gone Wild set from February through April.
Also: The club's owners say that, in order to try to drive the poor swingers from their den, the city has shut off the club's water. But that plan backfired because the Minglers just kept on Mingling. They just aren't showering now. Thanks, Daytona.
