Florida Is Suffering From an Epidemic of Drunk, Underwear-Clad Women Driving Around
It was real, real, real, real, really hot this week.
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio
A lot of weird things happen in Florida every week, and we're here every Friday to share the weirdness with you. This week we have a rash of women in bras and panties behind the wheel, and proof that everything in America really comes down to cake.
Lydia Grace Kelm
Lake County SO
Drunk Women Driving in Just Underwear Is All the Rage
Monday morning, Lydia Grace Kelm, 23, had a hankering for some fast food. So she got in her car and drove to a McDonald's in Leesburg, Florida. The problem: She wasn't wearing any clothes, and she was drunk. While waiting at the drive-thru, Kelm loudly revved her engine and ended up reversing instead of moving forward. She was unresponsive to an employee who yelled at her to drive up to the window. Police were called, and they found Kelm, clad only in a bra and panties, "confused, lethargic," and with "slurred speech." The deputy gave her a jacket so he could conduct a field sobriety test, which she promptly failed. She was arrested on DUI charges, and a test later revealed her blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit.
via Fort Pierce Police
Kelm isn't alone in committing such a crime in recent days. On March 20, police pulled over a Volkswagen in Fort Pierce for driving at night without headlights. They found Niomie Ruffolo, 18, behind the wheel. She too was wearing just a bra and panties. She told the deputy that it was “real, real, real, real, real, real hot.” Ruffolo put on a sweatshirt and told the officer that her headlight was out because it's a German car.
"A Volkswagen is a German car… you just can’t find a dealership… you have to go to a Volkswagen type of dealership,” she said, according to Off the Beat. Indeed, the officer happened to know there was actually a VW dealership right in town.
Ruffolo took a field sobriety test and was arrested on a DUI charge, but a later breath test revealed no alcohol in her system. The results of a urine test are still out.
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Florida Bakery Attacked for Refusing to Bake "We Don't Support Gay Marriage" Cake
This is America, and apparently even our biggest debates over laws and civil rights somehow come down to junk food and loud people on YouTube. There's this brouhaha over a law in Indiana that would allow businesses to refuse services to customers based on their sexual orientation. Certain right-wing, socially conservative Christians are upset, naturally, because this law apparently discriminates against their right to discriminate.
Joshua Feuerstein, a former televangelist, decided to prove how people who discriminate are discriminated against by calling a random bakery and asking them to bake a cake with "We do not support gay marriage" frosted on top of it. He somehow settled on Cut the Cake bakery in Longwood, a suburb of Orlando. Cut the Cake, however, refused to bake the cake, so Feuerstein blew them up on YouTube. Orlando Weekly reports that the bakery has since received threats and harassment from Feuerstein's followers since he posted the video of the phone call on YouTube.
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