Five Times It Was Clear Dwyane Wade Wished He Were Still in Miami

Five Times It Was Clear Dwyane Wade Wished He Were Still in Miami
Photo by George Martinez

Dwyane Wade should still be a member of the Miami Heat right now. That point is not debatable. You can bitch and moan about why Wade isn't doing pullups on the rim before each game at the American Airlines Arena this season, but in the end, he's not, and it sucks.

Many Heat fans still aren't over the divorce. Coach Erik Spoelstra has shared how much he misses Wade. Pat Riley has bluntly stated it's his fault Wade went to Chicago. When Wade left, Heat fans didn't burn his jersey; they stood in lines for hours to buy more of them.

And Wade? He misses the shit out of Miami even if he doesn't openly say it. In subtle ways, he's made that much abundantly clear. Here are just a few of the cries for help Wade has sent out this season:

1. #PantsGate2017
Dwyane Wade has so much money, like serious new-pants money. He is not the average person. Average people still have shirts from places we worked in college because, hey, you never know when you're going to paint something — even though we'll never paint shit! Wade is a member of the Chicago Bulls, a team with a ton of Chicago Bulls pants — literally all of the Chicago Bulls pants. Yet he's wearing Miami Heat pants out in public like he's on his way to paint some shit! The only thing Wade is painting while wearing these pants is a picture of a man with enormous regret.

2. "Wade Holiday Mockumentary"
Oh, it's a mockumentary, all right. This is likely the last time Wade and his family enjoyed the snow, so it's good it was all caught on high-definition film. We aren't buying it. This video came out December 21, 2016, and it was 71 degrees in Miami that day. The smiles in this video are fake news. If this were truly an uninterrupted video, it would include the deleted moments that show how sad everyone is to be stuck in winter.

3. The Bootycall
Remember how defensive Heat fans became whenever LeBron James would mention Cleveland? LeBron would be so careful not to mention anything Ohio-related, but if he even tweeted "Go, Buckeyes!" Heat fans would fire off a tweet like, "WTF, it's all about the U, bro. Disrespectful." Yeah, Wade doesn't care about Chicago Bulls' fans feelings. He's straight-up telling his new chick she's fine, but she ain't Miami Heat fine. Wade talks about the Heat like Donald Trump talks about Russia. The Chicago Bulls and their fans are the United States; the Miami Heat is Putin. Whoa, this got deep. (Out of context, this entry would not help to ensure the future acquisition of this writer's nonexistent Heat press credentials.)

4. The time Wade wanted the Bulls to be more like the Heat
It feels so long ago, but it was just this past January when Wade tried to bring his veteran presence to the hole, and Rajon Rondo promptly tripped him. Wade was basically quoted as saying he knew that he and Jimmy Butler were on the same page but that he wasn't sure about the rest of his knuckleheaded team. This was obviously Wade's first real taste of what it's like to not have the Heat culture on his side. Credit to Wade for squashing it all and not responding to that dolt Rondo, but this incident was obviously about Wade not being used to so much zero-shits-given going on in a locker room.

5. He misses us; he really, really, misses us
Wade pines for Miami and the Heat. You can tell he misses the Heat, because he keeps telling people he misses the Heat. From saying, "I'll always be a Miami Heat," to explaining how hard (and weird) it's been for him and his family adjusting to not playing in Miami, it's clear Wade would rather be here, not there.

Wade being a Bull has gone about as well for Heat fans as they could have ever hoped, in large part because Wade has been such a class act after his departure. Like Pat Riley said after Wade left: The key will always be under the mat. Come home, Dwyane. It's time.


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