“Although some may consider this to be humorous or insignificant, the FIUPD takes these reports seriously and continues to investigate the matter,” a rep for the Florida International University Police Department tells the school's student media.
The incident in question — which, again, is neither humorous nor insignificant — is the fact that a suspected serial foot fetishist has been hiding under tables at the school's Green Library and lying in wait until female students sit down so he can smell their feet.
FIUPD caught wind of the problem August 29, when someone discovered the man hiding under a library table and snapped pics of the alleged fetishist. Note that the expression on the man's face in the photo above as he's caught in the act is in no way even a little funny.
The man, believed to stand between five-foot-eight and six feet tall and weigh more than 200 pounds, was then snapped making his way off campus on a tiny scooter.
If the idea of a large man hopping onto a scooter after a long day of creepy foot-sniffing at the local university strikes you as anything less than serious and significant, NBC Miami reminds you that "some students didn't take this seriously, but this is no laughing matter for FIU."
None of the man's victims was physically injured, and police are not sure how many times he may have engaged in his foot-sniffing behavior, but surely it is not an insignificant number. Police believe that female students may not have even noticed him.
To wonder exactly what happened if the man chose to hide under a table that no one used and he had to lie there for an hour or so just chilling and waiting for some feet is beside the point. To perhaps be curious about what would happen if a male student sat down and placed his feet before the man's eager nose is also not funny or significant. To suggest that in a city like Miami that the guy could probably easily find some willing feet in exchange for a few bucks is not appropriate.
In fact, CBS Miami first fell into the trap of thinking "it may seem funny at first" but was quickly informed by student Gerald Trueblood that it's "pretty insane."
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
So to recap: This is not funny, this is significant, and, in the opinion of at least one person, it is insane.
This is definitely not the kind of story you'd share for LOLs on Facebook or crack jokes about on Twitter in any way. That we know for sure.
Library staff is now on the lookout for the man and is in contact with the school's police department.
Anyone who can identify the suspect is asked to call 305-348-2626. He could be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior.