Fight Over Whether Florida or Ohio Has Better Strip Clubs Leads to Shooting
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio
A lot of weird things happen in Florida every week. On Friday, we're here to bring you the weirdest. This week: an argument about the merits of strip clubs in Florida and Ohio ends in gunfire, an argument about garlic knots leads to a riot, and a police chase concludes with a 13-year-old girl driving a minivan through a brick wall.
Photo by href="http://www.miaminewtimes.com/slideshow/king-of-diamonds-cover-shoot-outtakes-6224227/15">Giulio Sciorio
Fight Over Differences Between Ohio and Florida Strip Clubs Leads to Shooting
Antonio Cummings is a 24-year-old Orlando resident who had the misfortune of being in Cleveland, Ohio, for a friend's birthday party. He was in line at Lido Lounge when he struck up a conversation about whether Florida or Ohio had better strip clubs.
Naturally, he stuck up for the Sunshine State, because natives like to brag about the best their state has to offer when they're traveling, and when you're from Florida, your choices are basically beaches, oranges, and strip clubs.
The conversation, however, turned violent. The Ohio man ended up shooting Cummings in the leg — probably because the guy realized there was no way he could actually win this argument. The Ohio man then took off in a car. Cummings wound up in the hospital.
Of course, this shouldn't have even been an argument in the first place. Don't take our word for it. Here's what the experts have to say on the matter:
Thrillist's "The 21 Best Strip Clubs in America"
Florida Clubs: 5
Ohio Clubs: 0
The Ultimate Strip Club List's "Top 100 Overall Strip Clubs"
Florida Clubs: 10
Ohio Clubs: 5
"America's Strippiest Cities"
Florida Cities: 6
Ohio Cities: 3
Now, would I believe that the saddest strip club in Florida is way worse than the saddest strip club in Ohio? Oh, absolutely. Florida probably has some of the worst strip clubs in the world, but it also has some of the best. Who thought this was actually an argument?
Ohio, you got your LeBron James back. Get off our jock.
Photo by Pinellas Park Police via KRON
13-Year-Old Girl Steals Minivan, Ends Police Chase by Crashing Into Brick Wall
We're pretty sure that every tale of a kid stealing a car and leading police on a chase has involved a boy, but we do know that girls can do everything boys can. They can break that glass ceiling. They can also break a brick wall.
Police in Pinellas Park noticed a Honda Odyssey zoom through a red light last Wednesday night. An officer gave chase, but the driver refused to pull over. In fact, the driver turned off all of the car's lights and continued driving on a one-way road. When the officer caught up to the van, it had crashed through a brick sign. The driver was nowhere to be found.
When she was eventually found, it turned out she was only 13 years old. She's been charged with felony grand theft auto and leaving the scene of an accident.
The Palm Coast Pizza Party Four
Four Arrested After Rioting Over Garlic Rots in Pizzeria
Just before midnight last Friday, Jessica Conti, 25, walked into a Palm Coast pizza joint to pick up her order. To her horror, however, she discovered there was cheese on her garlic knots. Which, to be fair, they are called garlic knots and not cheesy knots for a reason.
That was strike one.
Conti asked for a refund but thought the cashier was being rude when he placed the money on the counter instead of handing it to her directly.
That was strike two.
What was strike three? Well, you don't get to strike three in Florida. Actually, you're lucky if you even get to strike two.
Conti had had it at that point.
Her crew — Vincent Conti, 23, Shawn Cody (ha), 32, and Hareem Jones, 26 — burst into the restaurant and threw a fit. The men pushed over the cash register and fax machine and then tore through the kitchen. A container of Parmesan cheese was hurled at a TV set. Food and boxes were sent flying.
The four were later arrested on charges of burglary and criminal mischief. A joint was found on Jones.
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