Nine months ago, former Cuban President Fidel Castro said Osama bin Laden was a CIA agent who never failed to pop up when George W. Bush needed a foil. "Bush never lacked for bin Laden's support," Castro said at the time. "He was a subordinate."
Now that bin Laden is gone, however, el comandante's conspiracy theory is dead as well. So Castro has moved on to criticizing the Obama administration for "assassinating" the very guy we supposedly paid.
"Whatever the actions attributed to [bin Laden], the assassination of an unarmed human being while surrounded by his own relatives is something abhorrent," Castro wrote.
"Obama has no way to conceal that Osama was executed in front of his children and wives, who are now under the custody of the authorities of Pakistan, a Muslim country of almost 200 million inhabitants, whose laws have been violated, its national dignity offended, and its religious traditions desecrated," Castro continued.
Of course, Fidel himself claims to have survived more than 600 such assassination attempts, from toxic cigars to exploding mollusks.
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At the same time he condemned killing bin Laden in front of his family, however, Castro criticized Obama for holding onto the photos of bin Laden's corpse, arguing that the coverup and burial at sea would only make the terrorist into a martyr.
"Having assassinated him and plunging his corpse into the bottom of the sea are an expression of fear and insecurity which turn him into a far more dangerous person," he said.