Expectations for Palin's Debate Performance Couldn't Be Higher
Expectations for Sarah Palin's performance at tomorrow's Vice Presidential debate couldn't be higher. What, with her masterful handling of Katie Couric's questioning, and the complete and total support of rational conservatives everywhere, the debate oughta be a slam dunk for this talented politician.
In fact Riptide predicts that we will draft the text of Palin's answers as our new constitution, take all our science books off the shelves and replace them with scripts from The Flintstones, and once we figure out which magazines and newspapers it is that Palin reads (hint: Mad for economic news, The Mini Page for foreign affairs, and Cat Fancy for domestic issues) we will all subscribe, thus saving the print industry.
Not only that but Palin will revolutionize political fashion forever by wearing this, yes a Storm Trooper pant suit. They will be our national uniform by Friday morning. Then on Saturday NBC will announce that they've fired Emmy winner Tina Fey from 30 Rock and replaced her with Palin. No one will question if she has the time to anchor a prime time sitcom and be our supreme leader at the same time. Not that it matters, as after the election all media will be entirely devoted to the thoughts of Palin.
If she fails to meet any, and we mean any, of these expectation than the debate will be considered a win for Joe Biden, but the thought of Palin stumbling is so laughable, so unthinkable that we don't think she has much to worry about.
Riptide will again be liveblogging this great moment in American history. Check back tomorrow a little before 9pm for that.