Ex-Dolphins All Up In the Super Bowl
11 ex-Dolphins will be playing or somehow participating in the Super Bowl this Sunday, which is more than any of the current Dolphins can say. Let's see... Jason Taylor? Collecting Man of the Year Awards. Not bad. But we'd rather he be collecting a Super Bowl ring. Cleo Lemon? At the corner laundromat. He threw his dirty undies in the dryer and the rest of his clothes he threw into some old lady's hamper (see what I did there?) Channing Crowder? Looking for another tree to crash into. Our entire secondary? Still in flames from what Randy Moss did to them back in October. Trent Green? Drawing murals on the wall with his own poop.
Here's the list. Because fuck it, man:
CB Sam Madison (Free agent not re-signed before '06. Yup, Sam Madison is finally in a Super Bowl)
OL Grey Ruegamer (Drafted in '99, cut in 2000. Linemen. Pfft.)
DL Manny Wright (Saban made him cry. Cam cut him.)
RB Reuben Droughns (Spent one month on the practice squad in 2001. I know. It's the practice squad. I know. It's Reuben Drougnhns. But still)
RB Kyle Eckel (Waived in '07 training camp)
FB Heath Evans (Starter cut in Sept. '05)
LB Larry Izzo (Free agent not re-signed before 2001. I know. It's Larry Izzo.)
OL Billy Yates (Undrafted FA in '03, cut in '04. But, hey, who needs extra linemen anyway? Am I right?)
WR Wes Welker (Traded for 2nd-round pick in '07. I'd STILL make that trade. Only because it netted us Satele. Still. Fuck.)
RB Sammy Morris (Free agent not re-signed before '07. My Dad LOVES this guy. Needless to say, he's pissed beyond words.)
LB Junior Seau (Acquired in '03 trade, not re-signed before '06. I dare you to find a more annoying assbag than Junior Seau.)
There you go.
Discuss. Or not. -- Chris Joseph
For more on sports from Chris Joseph go to FinsNation.com
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Trump Sues Univision for a Half-Billion Dollars, Proves He's Totally Unfit for the...
- U.S.-Cuban Embassies May Be Reopening, but Appointing an Ambassador Might Become a Fight
- Heat Signs Dragic to Five-Year, $90-Million Deal; Still Pursuing Wade