Either Cam Cameron Is Retarded, or John Beck Sucks
Today's the day. The day Cam Cameron is supposed to come out and announce that John Beck will be getting the start against Philly this weekend. We all see it coming right? I mean, after all, Cam was non-committal about naming Cleo Lemon as the starter for this week after Sunday's loss to Buffalo. So one is lead to believe that Cam is finally going with the common sense call and giving The Mormon the shot we've all been waiting for. So, this is it. The start of the John Beck era. We're going to get to see if the rook is for real and if he is, finally, the solution to our long-time quarterback problem!
That glimmer of hope you just felt? You didn't think the Dolphins would actually let you keep that, did you? LOL. Silly Dolphin fan. How quickly you forget! The Dolphins are not your ordinary NFL franchise. And Cam Cameron is not your ordinary NFL head coach. So hand over that glimmer of hope right now mister! Just who in the hell do you think you are?
The Palm Beach Post quotes a source today that says Lemon will remain the starter for your Miami Dolphins. And that maybe -- maybe -- Beck will come in if Lemon struggles.
Wow. This is what it must feel like to be simultaneously kicked in the testicles while being gang raped by a family of bears.
Now, we won't know for sure what the plan is until Cam has his post-practice news conference this afternoon. But just so you know, be prepared to take a shit at that time. Because you're probably going to want to take a massive one after Cam makes his announcement.
If this source proves to be right, if this information is true, if Lemon does remain the starter even after Cam made us believe he was going to evaluate the whole thing, then we have two options we need to start seriously considering going forward:
#1.) Cam Cameron is a God damned retard. There has to be medical records somewhere that say one Malcolm "Cam" Cameron has a mental disability. Because no one can be this stupid without it being diagnosed by a trained psychologist or a team of doctors.
#2.) John Beck sucks. Cleo Lemon is ranked 28th in the league in quarterback rating. He's 0-5 as a starter. He averaged 4.2 yards per pass last Sunday. He makes bad decisions at the worst possible times. He takes sacks. He failed to lead the Fins into Buffalo territory in when it mattered at home, in a game where our defense mostly dominated. In five games he's thrown only 3 TDs. He brings nothing to the table that inspires hope. And yet, he's been dubbed the guy "who gives us the best chance to win?" So the question is simple: What the fuck has John Beck been doing that he can't beat this sorry sack of shit out for the starting job? It can't just be the old rookie/inexperience thing. Because how much experience does Lemon really have? Exactly.
So, either Cam is an absolute certified idiot, or John Beck is a bust. Which is it? Because I can't take anymore of this bullshit.
I guess we'll see come this afternoon. Hopefully this post will be a moot point and Cam will name Beck the starter and the Post's source will be taken into the woods and shot on general principle. -- Chris Joseph
Read more from Chris Joseph at FinsNation.com
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.