Dump the Cuba Travel Ban: Send in Howard Stern, Lindsey Lohan, Manny Diaz!
Fidel is a jerk. Raul is nearly as bad.
But what nailed the USSR will get Cuba. Let my people in!
The heads of foreign affairs committees in both houses of Congress -- Sen. Richard Lugar and Rep. Howard Berman came out together to say the 50-year-old ban should be lifted. Hell, Lugar is even a Republican.
After we lift the ban, we should send the following personalities to do their things there:
1. Howard Stern should talk porn all day and all night.
2. Lindsey Lohan should continue her run on the bank.
3. Scott Rothstein should be the Jewish avenger and Ponzi schemer he is.
4, Manny Diaz -- because the foremer mayor doesn't have anything else to do...and what the hell, he did a great job with downtown.
5. One of those Kardashian monsters. Cuz maybe then they'd disappear from the screen like Fidel.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Former Hurricane Brett Romberg Calls Jonathan Martin "a Piece of Garbage"
Thu., Sep. 3, 6:35pm
Fri., Sep. 4, 11:30am
Fri., Sep. 4, 6:35pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 11:30am
- There Are a Lot More Educated Young Women in Miami Than Men (Which Is Why You're Single)
- The Sane (but Sort of Lazy) Person's Guide to Early Hurricane Preparation