Editor's Note: In this blog post, Miami New Times did not imply or intend to imply that Beach Towing violated the law by distributing VIP parking decals. Beach Towing's attorney says the decals identify "the owners of vehicles who reside at certain condominiums in contrast to persons who are parked illegally." He also accuses New Times fraud and defamation. This newspaper has removed the decal from its website and asks readers to refrain from reproducing it. We otherwise stand by this blog post but apologize to VIP's everywhere.
Essentially, any car with the sticker affixed won't get towed. Preposterous, we thought.
But lo and behold, last week, in the parking lot of Miami New Times headquarters, we spotted a circular green, white, and red decal on the windshield of a blue convertible Porsche. In the center of the sticker was an image of a tow truck surrounded by the words "Beach Towing Service Inc. V.I.P. Member Platinum Club."
We called Beach Towing to inquire about obtaining a VIP decal and were told to speak to the owner, who wasn't in the office. So we reached out to a few Miami Beach luminaries to find out if they had one.
An attorney who used to represent Beach Towing acknowledged he had a VIP sticker many years ago. He requested anonymity because he didn't want to ruffle his former client's feathers. "It doesn't mean anything," he added. "I still got towed."
We also chatted with longtime party promoter Tommy Pooch, who had a Beach Towing decal too. "I got one 15 years ago," Pooch said. "But when I changed cars, I never bothered to get a new one." Pooch claimed the decal meant he could park anywhere if he wanted to. "But I never took advantage of it," he insisted.
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Two Miami Beach elected officials said they hadn't heard of the decals until Banana Republican brought them up. "I am not aware nor ever have seen a VIP decal," insisted city Commissioner Deede Weithorn. "I do not have one nor does any of my family."
Her colleague Michael Gongora was also in the dark. "I'd want to know who they have given decals to," Gongora said. "Why are they getting decals, and what does it entitle people to?"
No one is fessing up, so we're granting VIP status to everybody who parks in Miami Beach. Below find our version of the VIP decal. It's up to you, new VIP, to print it and stick it on your windshield.