Don't Be Afraid to Make Them Punt or Anything
Then there's Matt Cassel and his "When In Doubt, Chuck It To Randy" 400-yard performance. Yup, Matt Cassel has just put himself in prime position to be the next Scott Mitchell. And Randy Moss, he just did his thing. Mainly, that thing where he rides piggy-back on DBs and throws them to the side and catches the ball while the refs just watch with their whistles up their asses while they beg for him to plant his ballsack on their foreheads. Miami's defense couldn't stop the Pats short slants all day long. Nor did they have an answer for New England's spread offense. Mainly because their offensive line treated our defensive line like Bill Parcells does a Christmas ham. Joey Porter talked some stupid shit about Mike Vick's dogs, then talked more stupid shit about the Pats and then proceeded to do absolutely nothing outside of a couple of unsportsmanlike penalties. And the rest of the defense? Matt Roth: 2 tackles. Jason Ferguson: 1 tackle. Kendal Langford: 1 tackle. Porter: 1 tackle, Vonnie Holliday: 0.5 tackle. Move along. Nothing to see here.
Yet, thanks to Chad Pennington's 341-yard, 3-touchdown performance, the
Dolphins had a chance to win this game. But then, with only 9 minutes
left to the game, everything imploded. Pennington throws a costly INT,
Channing Crowder gets ejected, Jake Long and Andre Goodman injure their
ankles, Ted Ginn suddenly remembers that he needed to meet his Suck
quota for the week and flat out refusing to catch a single pass, and
Greg Camarillo busts up his knee. Meanwhile, Ronnie Brown ends up with
a mere 10 carries for the game.
The few positives that can be taken from this game are Pennington's
play, and the fact that this thing has returned to full-fledged rivalry
mode. We punched them in the mouth back in September, they punched
right back. Only they chose to punch during a crucial moment of the
season. The Dolphins just got a cold wet dose of reality thrown at
them. They're good, but they're a ways away from being great. First
step to greatness: forcing the opposing offense to punt every now and
then, for starters.
-- Chris Joseph
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Erika Now Projected To Miss South Florida
Fri., Sep. 4, 11:30am
Fri., Sep. 4, 6:35pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 11:30am
Sat., Sep. 5, 7:00pm
- Miami's Latin Builders Association Calls Donald Trump "Repugnant," Pulls Gala From His...
- Micky Arison Teases Internet With Miami Vice-Style Heat Jerseys