Donald Trump Will Hold a Rally at Bayfront Park Wednesday
Photo by Ian Witlen
We know: You're tired of it. We, too, are tired of it. You're tired of seeing Donald Trump's face. You're tired of hearing Hillary Clinton say the phrase "Trumped-up, trickle-down" over and over. You're tired of the bickering and the fighting and the insults and that whole maybe-America-might-actually-end feeling you've had since September.
We're almost there, folks. But we're not quite there yet: In the wake of a string of recent polls showing that Trump could actually win Florida, the Donald will host a gigantic rally at Bayfront Park — Miami's most iconic outdoor venue — this Wednesday.
According to the his campaign website, Trump will host a rally at the Bayfront Park Amphitheater hump day at noon.
Gates open at 9 a.m., so expect the inevitable parade of pro-Trump lunatics, anti-Trump lunatics, and nonpartisan lunatics to arrive early.
As with every other election, Miami is ground zero for both major political campaigns. So we've been through the whole Trump-rally-shenanigans thing a few too many times already. You can certainly expect Michael the Black Man — the "Blacks for Trump" organizer who also happens to be a former member of the murderous Yahweh cult, to show up.
You can also bet that South Miami Vice Mayor Bob Welsh, AKA the guy who doesn't know what the word "badonkadonk" means, to post up outside too.
You can also be sure that Trump will mention Clinton's renewed email scandal, the fact that former CNN employee Donna Brazile almost definitely fed Hillary debate questions in secret, and all of that other nonsense he's been spewing this entire time about how much he loves Florida. And traffic will probably be terrible downtown all day. We know the deal by now.
Eight days left in this campaign cycle. Hold on, everybody. Just hold on. We'll get there.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Miami, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.