Sunday's 34-15 loss to the injury-depleted and talent-deficient Kansas City Chiefs proved that once again the Miami Dolphins have it all wrong. It's painfully obvious, and Dolphins fans can't take it anymore. In fact, the game was so bad that Fins faithful began kicking one anothers' asses in the stands -- all while wearing the same #AquaOut shirts.
The crushed hopes and dreams materialized into an all-out melee in the upper deck. But the fans involved were treated to an ejection and spared viewing the rest of this Dolphins performance, so I guess the joke's on the rest of us.
It was like a Purge movie in the Sun Life Stadium stands during the first half. Come to think of it, if fans were allowed on the field, it wouldn't be the worst promotion in the world. The 4:25 p.m. kickoff allowed a few extra hours of drinking, which, coupled with the realization that you're a Dolphins fan, is enough to break any man.
Upperdeck fight! Upperdeck fight at Dolphins-Chiefs!
— Joseph Goodman (@JoeGoodmanJr) September 21, 2014
A bunch of dolphins fans just got in a huge fight here. Literally fans of the same team trying to beat the crap out of eachother.
— Ryan Samuels (@RyanSamuels43) September 21, 2014
Reporters going nuts at a fight in the 400 stands visible from press box with binoculars. It's been that kind of game.
— Andrew Abramson (@AbramsonPBP) September 21, 2014
It's not a shock to see fans of opposing teams getting into it in the stands, but alas, things in Miami aren't normal. This isn't just your run-of-the-mill frustrating football season angering fans; this is the seven-layer-dip of anger, years upon years in the making, with no relief in sight. This team has driven its fans to the brink of insanity.
All of this happened before the game even got out of hand, so that should tell you all you need to know about the kind of entertainment Dolphins fans were treated to Sunday against the Kansas City Chiefs.
It's early in the season, but the writing is on the wall: This team is just the latest edition in a long-storied line of shitty products being sold to fans annually. Fans are no longer numb to the team's play; they are as angry as ever about it.
And now for some crushing truths:
I've resisted saying it while many of you kept yelling it at me. But it's time for me to admit it. Ryan Tannehill is not the answer.
— Will Manso (@WillManso) September 21, 2014
Ryan TanneHenne is a Chad Hennehill. He's not the future.
Ryan Tannehill is not that dude. Sorry, Dolphins fans. It's year three and we are still waiting for Tannehill to grasp basic things even the most average NFL quarterback should be able to understand. Tannehill entered the season as a break-out candidate to many but has regressed to the point that the Dolphins have to be thinking about what they will do at the signal-caller spot next year. Tannehill finished 21-43 Sunday, and really those numbers make it look better than his performance really was. It's time to seriously question whether this is the guy who will ever lead the Miami Dolphins to the playoffs, much less a Super Bowl.
Hot tip: The answer to that question is no, he's not.
#Dolphins averaged almost 2 1/2 more yards per play on Lamar Miller runs than Tannehill passes. Really disappointing day for OC Bill Lazor.
— Evan Silva (@evansilva) September 22, 2014
The Bill Lazor welcome parade has marched its happy ass right into the Atlantic Ocean.
This guy was supposed to save us! Once again, Dolphins fans have been sold on the guy-behind-the-guy, and once again we take it right in the nuts. Lazor was supposed to bring with him Chip Kelly's Oregon super-fast-turbo offense of sexiness has yet to deliver anything that looks remotely different from what fans have witnessed over the past decade. The only thing that has gotten faster is how quickly Miami punts, and in this game the team's only touchdown drive was 19 yards. Seriously, 19 yards. I can throw this computer I'm typing on 19 yards. NINETEEN YARDS!
Philbin: I have to look at everything. How we're calling things, how we're practicing.
— Andrew Abramson (@AbramsonPBP) September 21, 2014
Joe Philbin is the more useless than man boobs.
What exactly do you do here? Oh, you're a people person? Cool. So let's get this straight: Philbin needs Lazor to call the plays, never called any in Green Bay, and even though he was labeled an "offensive guru" and credited for Aaron Rodgers' success, has limited involvement with the offense. Philbin is terrible at clock management and has a nationally covered scandal in Bullygate under his belt, which is proof he has no control of his team. Philbin isn't much of a motivator and has no head-coaching experience prior to Miami. For the third straight game, Miami trailed by double digits at the half, and that's unacceptable for a team with this much talent on its roster. The sooner Joe Philbin goes, the sooner we can all move on.
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Fittingly, the heavens have opened up at Sun Life Stadium. It's like the end of days here. pic.twitter.com/mk2GZ1B82z
— Adam Beasley (@AdamHBeasley) September 22, 2014
End of days, indeed.
The Miami Dolphins take on the Oakland Raiders at Wembley Stadium in London next Sunday. Kickoff is at 1 p.m.