The Dolphins are fresh off their bye week, players are relatively healthy, and they're playing a Buffalo team at home that has a homeless guy named "Jeff" that draws pictures for you outside of Churchill's starting at QB. What could go wrong?
Well, for starters:
- The Bills played their last game above 'their station' and competed into OT with a very good Bengals team. Everyone thinks they're shit so they're playing freely with nothing to lose.
- The homeless QB mentioned earlier is a local product. So there's always the fear of 'local boy comes back and whoops on hometown team' that has happened more than a couple times.
- The fact the Dolphins are favored by 8 points, the quarterback is shit and IT'S OUR TIME and all that should make everyone freak out like so:
Ah yes. With the Patriots next week and a debilitated opponent this week, the classic TRAP GAME hovers around Sunday's game like a farty ghost.
Since winning their first three games, the Dolphins have regressed in the last two contests (albeit against 2 very good teams). Here are four keys to getting their mojo back:
1. The Offensive Line Must Be Better
It's been stated enough times to make you cry to yourself on a toilet of shame for hours. In 5 games, the Dolphins have given up 24 sacks. Whether it's been the offensive line (most of the blame) or Tannehill's difficulties having better pocket presence (also an issue), the Dolphins must must must definitely please I'm begging you find a way to keep Tannehill upright. Throw the ball away, run the ball more (hey there's an idea!) or just SACK THE FUCK UP and play better up front. Oh, and they're up against Mario Williams this week. DELICIOUS.
2.Find a Way to Run The Ball
The Dolphins have been terribly inconsistent with their play-calling all season. Often passing when they should run (usually too often) and running when they should pass (think of horribly-called yet crucial third and short, fourth and short plays in the past two games). Buffalo ranks 28th against the run, Mike Sherman. Simple logic tells you they're not very good against the run and if there was maaaaybe an opportunity to get that part of the offense finally going -- six games into the season -- it MIGHT be against a team that is shitty against the run.
3. We Are Pretty Healthy And The Bills Are Not
Cameron Wake? Back. Dimitri Patterson? Supposedly back. Ellerbe? The bye helped him heal. Soliai? Ready to rock. Tannehill? Healthy. Mike Wallace? Uhhh ... whatever I guuueeessss. I just hope his hands aren't secretly broken. Hartline? CAT-LIKE!
The Bills don't even have a guy with two working arms playing quarterback from what I hear.
4. Speaking of Mike Wallace ... You Gonna Play This Year, Bro?
There are a lot of guys named Mike Wallace (and much fucking cheaper) with better stats than Mike Wallace. It's probably about time he changes that. It's not for lack of opportunities, certainly.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
The Dolphins should pull out this win on Sunday and -- if they're as good as they've been advertised all up and down I-95 -- then it should happen real easily. Let's hope that happens or shit will get real weird around here with the Pats up next.
The Dolphins take on the Buffalo Bills this Sunday at Sun Life Stadium. Kickoff is at 1 p.m.